Gather around, boys and girls. I’d like to tell you a story.
I live in Boston. I love it here, to be honest.
But the Penguins playing the Bs when there are a bunch of holiday parties I have to attend is basically the sum of all fears for me. Normally, this sort of thing ends in horrible, devastatingly embarrassing defeat
Last night had all the makings of that happening again. Bruins were trapping and forcing turnovers. The Penguins gave up the first goal (and 3 fairly soft ones in total). They played a great goaltender. Crosby took a puck and a stick to the head/face. Murphy’s Law was in full effect.
But there’s something about this Penguins team that when the third period rolls around where they hit the same gear Paul Walker did. But instead of dying, they just win hockey games.
FIRST PERIOD
Over the last couple of years, Pens/Bruins games had the tendency to put you to sleep faster than a 6er of Beast Ice mixed with a handful of klonopin. In many ways, this is still the same old Bruins team. They’re still propping up the corpse of Zdeno Chara, after all. But they have also some kids up front that can skate to complement Bergeron, Marchand, and Krejci, which is a different trend than the “pay all of these veterans way more than they’re worth for way longer than they’re worth. They still do that, too, but hey, who wouldn’t want a declining, dogshit player like David Backes?
Through the first half of the period, the same Bruins team we’ve seen time and again were lulling the Pens into a bunch of unnecessary turnover.. Some early chances and an early powerplay gave Murr the opportunity to get settled in a bit, though the Pens weren’t doing much in the way of helping him out.
It wasn’t until the halfway point of the period when the Birds starting spending some time in the Bruins end. But the ice was still tilted in the B’s favor. On what should’ve been a simple dump and change, Crosby’s unit was a little slow getting off the ice on Hornqvist’s dump and Boston quickly transitioned on a stretch pass. Bergeron gave the puck to one shitbird to find another. Still entirely unclear how Marchand’s shot squeaked through Murray, but nevertheless, you can’t have that puck go through your dickhole like it’s Kids in the Sandbox. 1-0
Two minutes later, the Crosby unit would respond. Sheary got the motor going and broke through the Bruins neutral zone bullshit. He baited Accairi in as they stacked the blueline and hit Crosby with a pass coming across. All 4 Bruins in the defensive zone focused on 87, forgetting that Justin Schultz quick scoping n00bs. 1-1
Late in the period, the penalties started flying. First, Jimmy Hayes, the pride of Dorchester, boarded Dumoulin. At the end of the PP, Hornqvist would go off for a phantom tripping after Marchand fell/dived. Then Letang got hit with an interference call while trying to seal off Pastrnak. But Murray and the rest of the Pens PK were not tripping, killing off the extended 5v3 and abbreviated 5v4 to get to the intermission.
Shots were 16-11 in the period, with the Bruins owning something like a 10-2 advantage in the first 10 or so minutes.
SECOND PERIOD
With the penalties and shit in the first, it was tough to get Hagelin-Malkin-Kessel out to do anything and get going. When they did though, they did everything but score, which would be the story of the first half of the 2nd for the Pens.
At the 6:40 mark of the period, against the flow of play, the Bruins would force the Pens to piss their pantsuits in their own zone on a pretty simple dump in. Got out-worked and started running around and Krejci capitalized. 2-1
About 90 seconds later, Marchand would catch Crosby in the chops with a stick to send the Pens back to the powerplay. Towards the end of it, Murray would tie Olli Maatta once again in team assists as he would set the puck for Daley to start the rush with a pass up the middle. Bonino showed more patience than a 17 year old after prom, waiting for traffic to get to the front of the net and use $2.5M defenseman Kevan Miller as a screen. 2-2
Both teams would trade off powerplay opportunities on the back end, but no dice as the game evened itself out. Bruins had a 15-12 edge in second period shots, while through 40 minutes, attempts were 31-30 in favor of the Bruins at 5v5.
THIRD PERIOD
There’s a reasonable expectation this season that the Penguins are going to come out in the third period and mushroom stamp whomever they’re playing. Had it not been for Tuukka Rask, this game would’ve been over 6 minutes into the period.
Tuukka lays out for the save pic.twitter.com/oiZPrfEs1K
— Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) December 15, 2016
But you can’t stop what you can’t see. Midway through the period with the Pens cooking, Marchand got called for cross-checking Daley from behind on the exact same play that went uncalled in Tampa on Crosby. Again, the top unit couldn’t capitalize, but the second unit did. Inexplicably, Torey Krug, who is a literal abortion when having to actually play defense, was on the ice for the kill. Conor Sheary is like 3’10”, bodied up on Krug and got position in the crease and dunked on his hometown team. 3-2
Give Schultz 11 points in his last 8 games on that apple. Get real.
The Bruins were always going to get at least one more chance. The Pens let them hang around a little too much and an ugly miscommunication between Murray and Dumo provided them with that chance, almost as if Murray went to the Marc-Andre Fleury School of Playing the Puck Behind the Net before the game. 3-3
Puck probably doesn’t go in without Bonino trying to make the desperation save, but you can’t blame him there. Tough bounce.
Rask would make some insane save on a Sheary breakaway with a scorpion kick to make sure overtime would be a thing that would happen with minimal time left on the clock..
Tuukka bails out Adam McQuaid after he’s burned by Sheary pic.twitter.com/3xpUIt3Vk3
— Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) December 15, 2016
Adam McQuaid makes $2.75M per year. Combine his cap hit with KMiller’s and you could pay for a serviceable defenseman. Comparables in that price range include Dougie Hamilton.
OVERTIME
Under a minute and a half into OT, the Pens would seal the two points. Sheary reset the whole play, left it for Schultz, and got off the ice. Schultz hit Geno jumping off the bench with smokeshow of a pass off the wall. Malkin slipped an area pass so gross to Rust that you need a bleach bath after seeing it. Rust didn’t fuck around. 4-3
Game.
RANDOM NOTES
- Chess match city. Really even game all around. Bruins only had 5 more attempted shots (52-47) than the Pens at 5v5. Rare to see, but Dumoulin (-15) and Letang (-11) and the Malkin line got decimated.
- Justin Schultz is going to make so much goddamn money this summer.
- Maybe some questionable goals for Murray to give up, but he still made 41 saves on the night. For you non-mathematicians out there, that’s still a .932 SV% and still way above average.
Pens play host to the Kings Friday night before heading to Toronto Saturday night in hopes of keeping this win streak alive. Do it.
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