Once again, the Penguins showed up to face the Oilers and bullied them into submission on the scoreboard, improving to 15-0-4 against the team that inexplicably employs Mike Smith.
In their 5-2 win on Friday, the @penguins continued their long-standing dominance of the Oilers. Going back to the start of 2007-08, they still haven't lost in regulation to EDM & have done it with some key stats demonstrated here pic.twitter.com/dT2uqTROsn
— StatsCentre (@StatsCentre) December 21, 2019
They did so even in the face of the Oilers wearing the absolute biggest hogshit uniforms on planet Earth, uniforms they won at the hogshit snarfing contest somewhere in Alberta.
https://twitter.com/anthraxjones/status/1208217224328220672?s=12
The point of all of this is that absolutely no one likes a hostage situation and that includes us here at The Pensblog, the only hockey blog that acknowledges taking hostages is empirically bad. We’re with you, Connor and Leon.
https://gfycat.com/delightfulmixedchinchilla-nobody-likes-you
Lineup
Lined up and ready to go. 💪 pic.twitter.com/OavW7tlKkh
— Pittsburgh Penguins (@penguins) December 21, 2019
The Penguins continued without the services of Crosby, Bjugstad, Noesen (waivers), Justin Schultz (week-to-week, lower body), your Uncle Frank, that stray dog down the street, and moved Jack Johnson up to the top pairing.
None of it, of course, mattered. The sun will swallow us all whole. Existence is pain. And the Oilers are Actually Bad.
Goals
PIT – 1st – 7:56 – Ruhwedel; A: Kahun, Aston-Reese – 1-0
The Peng got cracking in this one under 8 minutes into the opening frame following some back and forth play where both goaltenders were called into action. For the Oilers, they probably would’ve preferred to not call Mike Smith at all, who, after the Penguins line of Kahun-McCann-ZAR worked them down low, took a Chad Ruhwedel point shot and allowed it to squeak through him like a small rodent breaking into your home through a roof vent.
https://gfycat.com/weirdmasculineblacknorwegianelkhound-pens-at-oilers
https://gfycat.com/reflectingbabyishborderterrier-pens-at-oilers
PIT – 1st – 12:56 – Blandisi; A: Aston-Reese, Pettersson – 2-0
Exactly 5 minutes later, following the kill of Blandisi’s hooking minor, the Oilers coughed up the puck as Marino, ZAR, Rust, and Pettersson swarmed them in the corner.
It popped out to Pettersson, who cooly dished it off to ZAR as Blandisi was released from the sin bin.
ZAR caught Klefbom out of position as he hit Blandisi with a silky smooth backhand area dish, sending him in one on one with Mike Smith, who, notably, sucks.
https://gfycat.com/generalwhiteamericanbulldog
EDM – 2nd – 6:41 – Kassian; A: Nurse, Bear – 2-1
That goal gave the Penguins life as they piled on the Oilers for the rest of the period, but as the second frame opened, they allowed the Oilers to get a foothold on the game.
And that’s when they struck with the McDavid line burrowing into the offensive zone.
McDavid would end up taking Draisaitl’s short little pass along the wall and reversing it back to the point as the Penguins collapsed. Ethan Bear (not a real bear, a human) moved it to Darnell Nurse (not a real nurse, a hockey player) at the opposite point while Bryan Rust (not real iron oxide, a hockey player), tried to get in position.
Nurse’s shot had eyes (not real eyes, metaphoric eyes) for Kassian’s stick in front, who was inexplicably not tied up by John Johnson, deflecting the shot by Jarry to cut the lead in half.
https://gfycat.com/weirdsparseboa-pens-at-oilers
PIT – 2nd – 15:38 – McCann; A: N/A – 3-1
As the period wore on, the Oilers continued to control portions of the play. None more so than in the immediate vicinity of Jared McCann’s goal.
But it was a great individual effort by McCann to scythe the upswing of the Game Flow down.
Darnell Nurse’s (again, not a real nurse) pass eluded his D partner at the far point as the Penguins looked overwhelmed in their own end of the ice. McCann saw his chance, picked the puck and took off on a breakaway of his own on Smith.
You know how this ends.
https://gfycat.com/bitesizedneighboringamericanbulldog-pens-at-oilers
EDM – 2nd – 19:37 – SHG – Sheahan; A: Archibald – 3-2
In the last 1:10 of the 2nd, the Penguins were award a powerplay after Nygard tripped up Malkin.
This was the chance to ice the game.
Instead, Malkin made things interesting from the top of the circle, choosing to try to force a cross-ice pass instead of getting it on net.
Former Penguin Josh Archibald picked the pass and got up ice with also Former Penguin Riley Sheahan.
McCann got back to help Letang out on the 2v1, but it was a little too late. Archibald was driving the net and Letang had to respect that as Sheahan drove a little wide. The play on the defensive side of the puck broke down and Sheahan saw his window of opportunity to beat Jarry glove side to send this into the 2nd intermission 3-2.
https://gfycat.com/meagerfavorablechital
PIT – 3rd – 0:38 – PPG – Letang; A: Malkin, Rust – 4-2
But this isn’t your Uncle Frank’s (see that? They call that a “call back) Penguins.
They got their shit together in the locker room, came back out to 50 seconds worth of powerplay time, but only needed 38 seconds of it.
Down low, Guentzel, McCann, and Rust outnumbered the Oilers, winning the puck battle and working it up to Malkin at the point. Again, he faked the slapshot, but this time the passing lane was open.
This time, his pass worked, putting it on a platter for Letang to bomb by Smith and put the Pens back up by 2.
https://gfycat.com/leadinggrayantelope
PIT – 3rd – 17:42 – ENG – Tanev; A: Pettersson, Blueger – 5-2
The back and forth aspect of the game continued with the Penguins owning more of an edge in the flow until about the last 5 minutes or so and when the Oilers pulled Smith for the extra attacker, a move they maybe could’ve made 58 minutes sooner, it was Tanev burying the game and sealing the two points with the gimme goal.
https://gfycat.com/oldgiganticfrigatebird
Eat shit, Oil.
Game.
Pens are back at it in like 15 minutes in Vancouver. Go team.
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