There isn’t enough liquor and therapy in the world to begin to try to find a deeper meaning from last night.
At face value, the Penguins snapped their 3 game losing skid while also snapping the Caps 9 game winning streak. With the gauntlet of sorcery the Penguins have coming up the rest of January, every point matters, even if it means coming back from 3-0 down 21:17 into the game to win 8-goddamn-7.
FIRST PERIOD
The good news: The Pens didn’t give up a goal in the first 35 seconds this time against the Caps, despite Maatta giving away more shit than a worker at the Filly Corral. Geno gift-wrapped the Caps a PP under 2 minutes into the game for attacking Tom Wilson as well that the Pens shitheap of a PK killed off.
The bad news: The Pens kept turning the puck over behind their own net. Not even to good players either. To guys like Dan Winnik, who is slower than a special ed class.
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Moreover, the Caps were winning battles when they were generally outnumbered, pulling out the ol’ Jerry Sandusky Forecheck. They’d gain the zone, slip the puck down to the corner and have one guy overtake 2 Penguins from behind.
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The worse news: The Pens would spot the Caps a 2-0 lead after 20 minutes, who were something like 19-2-2 when leading after 1.
SECOND PERIOD
The worst news: The Pens defending 1:17 into the period didn’t get any better, both as a team and individually.
You could say that the game ended on that jackdick defending and a follow up Caps PP, but the Pens PK admittedly were pretty great on the night. Then we were treated to some 4v4 hockey after Hornqvist clotheslined Oshie. No place for that in the game, but also fuck TJ Oshie so
Hornqvist hit on Oshie pic.twitter.com/tSIzwM2WmX
— steph (@myregularface) January 17, 2017
Between the penalty kill and the Hornqvist shit, it got the Pens rolling. It started with Malkin, Kessel, Maatta, and Daley taking over with the open ice, which is a strange sentence to read based upon the 3rd name in the sentence. It was followed with Crosby taking shit over with the open ice. The equalizer was finalized with some Nick Bonino goal.
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Three goals in 2:27 after going down 3-0. But they weren’t stopping there. Under 5 minutes later, all hell would break loose.
First, the Pens would score 2 goals in 50 seconds to take a 5-3 lead.
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Rust would dig the puck out of some scrum in front and set Ovi up for his first goal as a Penguin. Then Malkin would just fuckin’ dazzle.
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Malkin in your DMs like pic.twitter.com/dM7TtzN2I4
— Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) January 17, 2017
One hand on the stick to chip it over any goalie, nevermind Braden Holtby, just isn’t fair. Malkin’s bucknasty goal would spell the end of Holtby’s night.
Then, Brett Connolly pulled the Caps within 1 just 30 seconds later after Warsofsky would fail on a pinch and clearing attempt.
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Just 34 seconds following the Connolly goal, Tom Wilson would take a run at Cole and get into it, but only Wilson would get a penalty because he’s a stain on human existence. About 1:13 would elapse before Oshie diced up on Daley for Schmidt to set up Eller on the shorty. 5-5
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But 25 seconds later, Malkin would chip the puck over Niskanen’s stick to himself to complete his hat trick with his 21st of the season. Trotz would challenge it for goaltender interference, but Winnik tripping Hornqvist into Grubauer was enough for it to not be. 6-5 Pens
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Vintage Malkin. Made Nisky look dumber than that cross-eyed bottom feeder already does. Pens scored 6 goals on 16 shots. That should be a punchline in itself.
Coach Sullivan: "That 2nd period was one of the craziest periods I've ever been associated with. I don't know how to assess it."
— Pittsburgh Penguins (@penguins) January 17, 2017
Gee, ya fucking think, Sully?
THIRD PERIOD
If you thought this game would settle down by the third period, you’d be as dumb as you are stupid. Six minutes in, Rust would decimate Karl Alzner to free the puck up for Sheary to hit 87 for his first goal in 6 games and 27th on the year. 7-5
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But with Maatta in the box a two separate times after the goal, the Caps would finally get their first PPG of the game, despite Ovi and Oshie getting away with a blatant interference on Kunitz just before the goal. Unlucky from Cole and Cullen with the blocks and even unluckier that Daley kicked it right to Oshie’s stick. 7-6
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Daley would get even unluckier about 5 minutes later. Caps were lurking, Murray made some saves, but Eller latched on to a rebound and fired it off Daley’s skate for his second of the night. 7-7
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Both teams entered a scoring drought for the last 5+ minutes of the game because God hates me and wanted me to suffer through blogging about a 7-7 game going to OT.
OVERTIME
Suck it, God.
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Niskanen too busy trying to decapitate Sheary to worry about the puck going in off his skate. 8-7
RANDOM NOTES
- There were 15 goals in a hockey game. Okay.
- Total vintage Geno. Took that bad penalty early on, but then exploded and put on a show.
- Crosby with a quiet 4 point night too. Tied him with McDavid for the league lead for a couple of hours (McDavid had a lone assist last night).
Can't make this up: Sidney Crosby ties for 87th all-time in scoring in what ends up a 8-7 game.https://t.co/2Mzhznovnw
— PensBurgh (@Pensburgh) January 17, 2017
- Kunitz, Sheary, and Cole all had monster games as well. Kunitz played 4:06 on the penalty kill and just 10:44 in total, but was a battle ax all game.
Pens head to Montreal Wednesday to take on the Habs. Why should things get any easier? Do it.
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