As this season has worn on, we’ve started to really see the Blue Jackets for who they are.
The Columbus Blue Jackets are Mecha-Streisand. They show up, destroy a bunch of shit to get people talking about them and thinking they’re a real threat. They’re style of play is to be total dickheads. But when April rolls around, they’re going to be faced with a bunch of Robert Smiths.
Predictably, we got all of the same behavior from the trash bins from Ohio. Jenner was running everyone he saw. Dubinsky was being a chodemaster. He sticked Crosby in his hangdown at one point in the second and continued to cross-check him while he was on the ice. Of course, he started showing up on the scoresheet. But for the first time in a long time, the Penguins didn’t react. They just played, even though this would’ve been fine.
When is someone in black and gold going to answer Dubinsky? Could care less about giving CBJ a power play in February.
— Bob Grove (@bobgrove91) February 4, 2017
Simply put, if Brandon Dubinsky was on fire, I’d put him out with gasoline.
While a lot of the focus is on that shitbird, the most important aspect of last night’s game was Phil goddamn Kessel. In his 800th game, the day after some other Phil saw his shadow, the only Phil in my life showed up in a big way: dragging his dick right across John Tortarella’s forehead with a 2G-1A performance.
Ladies and gentlemen, Punxsutawney Phil Kessel… pic.twitter.com/SZNTsxRKxL
— Benstonium (@Benstonium) February 2, 2017
The Goals
13:37/1st – G: Kessel (16)//A: Dumoulin (8), Daley (13) – 1-0 Pens
It was basically a metaphor for my sex life. The Pens spent about 70 seconds in the zone before getting that money shot. It started with Hagelin-Rowney-Rust lighting it up, controlling the puck down low and over-stretching the Jackets. They slowly started trickling off the ice for a change with the Guentzel-Bonino-Kessel line jumping on and Bonino making the play to set up the goal, sealing off Johnson along the wall and freeing the puck up on an end-around. He worked it up high to Daley and Dumoulin and Phil took that bitch from Dumo and walked straight into the orchard.
I want Bob’s smile at Phil for that ridiculous shot to adopt me.
18:28/1st – G: Hornqvist (15)//A: Cullen (10) – 2-0 Pens
Coming off a nice breakout, Hornqvist peeled off the right wing with an area chip to Cullen streaking. Cullen with an elite tip to himself to split the D, making Prout and Werenski look like the AHLers they are. Pretty sure that was the last shift Prout took on the night. Dad got hauled down, but got a piece of the puck as he was falling to get it on goal before crashing into Bob. Hornqvist followed up and knocked the puck in before Prout could cheat to save the goal.
15:43/2nd – G: Dubinsky (6)//A: Jenner (8), Johnson (12) – 2-1 Pens
With the Jackets trying to exit their zone, a bad pinch by Maatta at the offensive blue line coupled with a nice Atkinson chip sprung Jenner and Dubinsky for a 2v1 on Daley. Murray made about 8 saves on Jenner before Maatta got back, shit on his dick, and allowed Dubsinky to cash in. Unbelievable amount of terrible from Maatta but also fuck Brandon Dubinsky.
18:23/2nd – G: Bonino (8)//A: Guentzel (4), Kessel (33) – 3-1 Pens
Pens would pull one back under 3 minutes later. Bonino with the defensive effort to release Kessel up the left wing to swing inside, drawing the Jackets attention and slipping a pass to Guentzel to enter the zone. Jakey Poo didn’t give Phil the puck back as he drove the net, held on, and instead hit Bonino with a dagger pass on the break.
0:29/3rd – G: Wennberg (10)//A: Saad (21), Jones (18) – 3-2 Pens
Jackets carried a lot of momentum they had generated at the end of the second into the third. Jones jumped in up ice and turned Letang inside out to get down below the goal line and feed Saad. Surprised Saad is even still in the country with his dad being Syrian and all. Saad looked dead to rights and it looked like Crosby thought so too, but he still got it over to Wennberg to find twine. Defensively, it eerily similar to Matthews goal in the All Star Game.
11:20/3rd – G: Atkinson (25)//A: Dubinsky (16), Johnson (13) – 3-3
Pens got victimized a bit on a slow change, allowing Johnson to hit Atkinson coming across the middle to attack the Pens with speed. Get the puck to the net and good things happen, and that’s what they did. Some bounces didn’t go the Pens way and it fell to Dubsinky for a blind pass that Atkinson batted in.
3:15/OT – G: Kessel (17)//A: Letang (21), Schultz (28) – PPG – 4-3 Pens
It all started when Sid picked Dubsinky’s pocket and took off on the breakaway. Crosby got hooked up by Atkinson as he was trying to go to the backhand and disrupted it enough. Only reason it wasn’t called a penalty shot was because it was OT, but they did get the only powerplay for either team on the night. Crosby-Kessel-Letang-Schultz ran the show, looked a little out of sorts in their movement for a bit, but Phil simplified things, drove in and fed Letang. His 1T got blocked and bounced right to Phil for the winner.
OTHER NOTES
- Gotta feel for Murray. It won’t show up in the box score, but he did have to bail the Pens out a lot early on and it seemed to really help him into the game. They gave up the puck a lot in some rough areas that, had it not been for Murr, this could’ve been another 7-1 shitfest.
- With Sheary out 4-6 weeks, we got to see Cullen play a bit on the top line with Crosby and Hornqvist. They popped up on the scoresheet, which is obviously good, but HCMS also filtered in a lot of guys on that LW. Wouldn’t mind seeing Hagelin get an extended run with those two and have Cullen play through the middle, where he’s at his best.
- Speaking of Hagelin and playing some of his best hockey of the season lately, the Hags-Rowney-Rust trio led the Pens forwards in 5v5 shot attempt differential last night (+12, +10, +11 respectively). Considering the only other line that was positive was Cullen-Crosby-Hornqvist (+5, +5, +2), that’s pretty damn good.
- Cannot stress enough how fucking good Kris Letang is. Led all Penguins skaters with 25:22 of ice time and all skaters in 5v5 on ice shot attempt differential at an outrageous +21 (32 for, just 11 against). Dumoulin was right there with him at +20.
- On the flip side, Cole-Schultz and Maatta-Daley got eaten alive, barely breaking 30%. Rich and Jesse talked a little bit about those 4 on Miller vs. Marshall yesterday, so check that out (along with their chat with Tyler Kennedy).
If there is an NHL city worse than Columbus, it’s St. Louis. That’s where the Pens are tonight. Do it.
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