The Boston Celtics, a member of the National Basketball Association, took part in a sanctioned exhibition against the Philadelphia 76’ers, also a member of the National Basketball Association tonight. They adhered to the rules of professional basketball by playing 48 minutes on regulation court, using a regulation basketball, under the supervision of three professional NBA officials with, I assume, complete knowledge of the NBA rules and regulations.
Those are the only positive words I could muster for this game. It was, by any measure, an offense to the general senses of any rational human being. What transpired tonight in Manchester, New Hampshire was beyond unpleasant. It was, for lack of a better term, a fucking abomination.
The Celtics played their final game of the preseason against their opponent for the season opener. So there would be no wrinkle-adding or hat-tipping on either side (as if Philadelphia had a hat to tip. And if it did, it would be traded or cut immediately so as to rid itself of an asset that led to any sort of success). Further, the Celtics were playing the most ridiculous of games… a preseason back-to-back. I don’t think I’m being hyperbolic by saying the person who scheduled this game should be tied naked to a stake next to a fire ant colony with his genitals drenched in honey.
Oh. The Celtics “won” 81-65.
I have been tasked with recapping this game. So I’m going to find something substantive to tell you.
The Green
The preseason is over. Pop champagne
OK for real, I know it was Philly, but the way the Smart, Bradley, Crowder combo played to start this game was pretty sweet. When people wonder about why you bring Isaiah Thomas off the bench, this is your answer. For this Celtics team, that defensive wall holds their best back, and then the Thomas/Amir Johnson/Kelly Olynyk combo comes in to score. Don’t roll your eyes at Olynyk… he’s an important floor-spacer and a key to Thomas being the scorer he is.
The Gross
Isaiah Thomas was rusty. Like.. he didn’t even shoot 20%.
Did I mention this game was an abomination? Oh I did? Ok.
The Greenlights
WHAT IS IT ABOUT THE WORD ABOMINATION THAT YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND??
The Grid
- Amir Johnson: 8 points, 13 rebounds.
- Jared Sullinger: 6 points, 14 rebounds.
- Team Rebounds: Boston: 67 – Philadelphia 54
- James Young: 3 points (1-12 fg, 1-6 3pt)
- Isaiah Thomas: 7 points (3-17 fg, 0-5 3pt)
The preseason is over. Real basketball is next. It’s back, people!
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