Recap: Celtics dominate D.C., raise serious doubts about existence of wizardry in Game 5

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*loud hyperventilation* Evening folks. I ordered a pizza, so that in the event of a loss I can just eat the entirety of it alongside my sports feelings, and I’m ready for Game 5 of the Boston Celtics vs. the Washington Wizards.

Thankfully my fear was unfounded and my arteries aren’t exploding. The Cs surged back, dominating the Wiz from early Q1 onward. Eventually, someone will have to win on the road, but tonight wouldn’t be that night.

THE GAME FLOW

Game 5 began with the Cs and Wiz looking evenly matched, more so than these squads have all series. Skeptical as I was (and many of you I’m sure) about Amir Johnson starting in wake of a crap Game 4, he seemed more mobile and defensively aware than in some time, stopping Washington from surging ahead early as they have so often. Boston seemed considerably more active on the glass as well.

By 6:50 of Q1 the Cs were on a 16-0 run that didn’t end until a second-chance Otto Porter bucket. And it’s not like the Wiz appeared to have suffered a Space Jam-esque siphoning of their skills. At some point, D.C. was gonna stop making shots at a ludicrously torrid pace, coach Scott Brooks’s lack of creativity would surface and Boston would succeed again at things they’d done well all season–like perimeter defense and forcing turnovers–but couldn’t manage in Washington. Avery Bradley emerging from his sleep to lead the team in scoring by a big margin didn’t hurt either.

Jae Crowder joined Bradley in the resurgence category. That, alongside assistance from Marcus Smart, Jaylen Brown and Terry Rozier against D.C.’s bench brought Boston’s lead higher than it’s ever been. (This included a hysterical Marx Brothers moment of ineptitude by Brandon Jennings, who, to quote Locked on Celtics cohost Sam Jam Packard, truly is “a dogshit basketball player.” Jennings got whacked around and pickpocketed by 4 Boston defenders who surrounded him like the women at the end of Death Proof beating Kurt Russell to death.)

I.T. wasn’t shooting a lot, in no small part because the Wizards did well containing him on various possessions, but the outstanding work of Crowder, Bradley and Al Horford counterbalanced this. Around the second half of the second quarter, Washington began to get some of their stuff together, but they were already in too big a hole for it to matter, with Boston taking a biting 67-51 lead into the break.

Threes by Horford and I.T. followed a number of unsuccessful attempts by the Cs to start the third quarter. But even if their shooting wasn’t at the deadeye-Dexedrine pace of the first half it didn’t flag by much, and the Wiz’s offensive improvement, spearheaded by Porter, wasn’t enough to significantly close the double-digit gap. D.C. had begun to gain some defensive momentum, but Avery Bradley WAS NOT HAVING IT and reached 29 points by Q3’s midpoint–including 4-of-5 on threes and 12-17 overall. (This would end up being close to his final line.)

So what was the most significant difference between this game and the last two? Johnson’s throwback performance on both ends helped, as did Bradley’s monumental effort. A friendly crowd and a few breaks of the whistle weren’t bad either. But even in the waning minutes of Q3 when the Celtics started looking gassed, the team recognized the urgency of the moment–as they so often have when shit gets hairy–and upped their game on both ends. This is the most complete performance the Celtics have exhibited in the postseason in the Brad Stevens era. (Speaking of Stevens, as SB Nation writer/misguided Wizards fan but decent-seeming guy Mike Prada noted, he instructed his squad to run quick cuts out of their I.T./Horford P&R bread and butter and it generated many more offensive opportunities.)

Boston brought its lead above 20 again before the fourth quarter was even half done, but Brad wasn’t about to completely deactivate his starters–Isaiah led Olynyk, Rozier, Brown, Smart and, at times, James Young. (Yes, him.) Wise, TBH, because as someone on The Wire once said, you don’t dance on someone’s grave until you’re sure the motherfucker’s dead. John Wall did his damnedest to keep his team something close to competitive, but the hole was dug–Washington just had to deal with it and jump in. The last five minutes were a complete formality as Boston came away with a much-needed W, 123-101.

Recap: Celtics dominate D.C., raise serious doubts about existence of wizardry in Game 5

Turnovers. That was the only problem of any note for the Celtics, who got 4 of them even during their Q1 blitz and had 9 for the game. Otherwise not much to complain about with 58 percent FGs, 47 percent from downtown and considerable advantages in both rebounding and assists.

Recap: Celtics dominate D.C., raise serious doubts about existence of wizardry in Game 5

AIN’T NO PARTY LIKE AN AVERY BRADLEY HEATCHECK PARTY BECAUSE AN A.B. HEATCHECK PARTY IS NOT A FREQUENT OCCURRENCE AND YOU SAVOR IT LIKE STEAK AU POIVRE, GODDAMNIT.

Recap: Celtics dominate D.C., raise serious doubts about existence of wizardry in Game 5

“Get bent, Bojan,” Isaiah said, as Bogdanovic failed so completely to stop the Celtics star at the rim that his bald spot grew an inch wider.

THE GRID

Avery Bradley: 29 points on 63 percent/12-19 shooting, plus 6 rebounds and 4 assists. Tacoma Terror is back.

Al Horford: 19-6-7 plus 3 blocks and only 1 turnover–and 89 percent shooting on 9 attempts.

Jae Crowder: Not as accurate as his teammates–nor was I.T., hence his absence from the stats section–but still bringing in 18-8-2, tied with Jaylen Brown for a game-high +19. (Brown didn’t shoot, but hey, I don’t look statistical gift horses in their bucktoothed mouths.)

Box score

BRAD’S BONUS BEATS: “Kelly, quit fucking around.”

Goodnight y’all. The intrepid KJ Kourafas will be your guide for Game 6.

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