On Sunday the Gregorian calendar read “Sunday, January 25, 2015, Anno Domini.” On that day, at approximately 7:00 PM Central Time in the state of Arizona, a territory which was admitted to the union on February 14, 1912 to become a state in the United States of America, a competition of athleticism took place called the “Pro Bowl.” Some people took note of said event. Many more people did not. Nothing of substance came from the event. These are the highlights of said event.
The event included a “foot ball”, a ball inflated with air that is used to play the American sport known as “football.” This device, spherical in shape, and modernly made of rubber or plastic, was used in a variety of ways. Sometimes it was thrown in a forward direction by a player who was not good enough to play in a crowning sporting event like the “Super Bowl”, before it was caught by another player – with their hands – who was also not good enough to play in a crowning sporting event like the “Super Bowl.” Sometimes this task was accomplished with great aplomb. Other times, it was not. Again, the outcome of this “forward passing” event is not in any way noteworthy, nor did any of the instances change the course of human history, or will ever be remembered in the annals of homo sapien existence.
The “Pro Bowl” also included many men who yelled at each other. There was no reason for them to yell at each other. The activities they were partaking in did not matter, at all, to them or to anyone else. They yelled because they likely suffer from severe brain trauma, and may not be able to control the volume of their voice. This yelling was a ruse to make said event more appealing to brain dead television consumers in the audience, whom this event was made. Yet this ruse clearly fell flat, as these consumers would have been watching said event anyway, because they are small minded ninnies that cannot think for themselves, nor did they ever learn the critical social skills of self soothing and individual distraction. Thus, they welcomed this manufactured distraction instead.
The event started, and then the event ended. People that participated in the event talked about the event afterwards. They said things like “This event was one of the events that happened in the last 12 months. It is an event that I rank equal to all other events, because events occur. This event also occurred, so it wa http://gty.im/462190544 s an event.” They also said things like, “I was a participant in this event, and it should be noted that things happened in this event. I was a thing that happened during this event. I hope you noticed this event”, although no one did.
These participants look forward to next year, where the event will happen again, even though no one asked for the event to happen again. Be sure to look forward to that, because you have no self control and motivation.
Hurray events!
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