Reynaud Curses Himself

This week starts the offseason workout program for the Vikings, young players and veterans alike. Nothing usually comes from this, aside from sports reporters getting to look at guys running around in shorts and stuff, but one item of note so far has been that it does appear, indeed, that former Vikings wide receiver, Darius Reynaud, has in fact switched permanently to running back. While PJD wasn’t exactly thrilled with this idea, it now appears to be permanent and factual and, well, we will continue to shake our head. I have no idea how this is supposed to work out for Reynaud. Best of luck, kid.

Of note with this move though is the newsworthy bit that Reynaud has also switched his jersey number from 82 to 27. GET YOUR 27 JERSEYS NOW!! But really, was this the right move for him? By my count, he could have picked number 24, 29, or something else in the 30’s. How well has the number 27 treated Minnesota Vikings? Well let’s look back at some recent players who have worn number 27 and firmly conclude through this scientific measure what type of success Reynaud will have as 27 …

2007 & 2006 – Ronyell Whitaker: /facepalm. I barely remember this guy, but I’m guessing he didn’t really do anything. If I remember correctly from somewhere in my addled brain filled with spank bank material, Whitaker was also a Titan (NOTE: Actually false, he was a Buc and had a three year NFL career) at one point and had some potential. It doesn’t look like he panned out for the Vikings though. Very Paymah-esque!

2005 – Fred Smoot: Two thirds of the world is covered by water, the other third is covered by a wide eyed set douche bag that got absolutely demolished by Steve Smith from Carolina. Thanks for nothing, Smoot. Glad you were so excited to head back to the swamp hole that is Washington DC. That’s all I can say about him. Talking any more about Smoot makes my heart hurt.

2004, 2003, & 2002 – Brian Russell: Yikes. Ok, so Russell sucks a whole lot of refuse right now, however, I will say that I always remembered him not being a total amount of abortion with the Vikings, at least his first two years. He had all those interceptions for one season, but you have to figure that was some fluky accident, like a fat chick getting free drinks a bunch. Anyway, pretty sure Russell is acknowledged as being a whole lot of suck.

2001, 2000, & 1999 – Keith Thibodeaux: Who? Also, Keith? I’ll have to pull this back out again:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiG6pm4IpS4

Fuck this, I can’t stand to put myself through this much pain again. As you can see here, Reynaud is facing an uphill battle. Hopefully he won’t be remembered as a no name like Keither or Ronyell, or as a big name bust like Smoot and Russell. Regardless, if you just pick up a blitz successfully, Reynaud, you’ll make us all happy.