Troubling times are brewing in the Pacific Northwest. In the span of two NFL seasons the Seattle Seahawks have done everything in their power to change the culture of Washington and its surrounding states. To this I say damn them!
The Seahawks are trampling on the good apathetic nature of the Pacific Northwest because of their insistence on winning. When I meet the good people of Seattle and I see the bullish way they champion the Seahawks as the best team in the league, well, it almost brings me to tears. To cast away a proud regional attitude because of a sports team is such a waste.
This is a region that lives in the “what could have been” state of mind. We lament and we’re damn good at it too. Where others hope for the best, we brace for the worst possible scenario. Why do we live this way? I point to the history of our humble roots. The Pacific Northwest, in the beginning, was a bastion for ambitious explorers who wanted to claim a piece of unmolested land for themselves. From the very beginning we have thrived in the face of hopeless chaos. We traversed the Oregon Trail, by historical account a persistent onslaught of dysentery, typhoid, and cholera, and erected drafty log cabin houses. When we stepped out into the chaotic beauty of the Pacific Northwest, looking up in preparation to curse the Heavens, it began to rain.
And it continued.
Washington’s most famous musicians, Kurt Cobain and Jimi Hendrix, both died at the age of 27. There are various accounts of their death, but could it be that, in their signature Washington way, they couldn’t stomach the excessive back-patting that accompanies success?
It continued.
Powerhouses of industry, Starbucks and Boeing, were both founded in Washington. Starbucks owner Howard Schultz is famous for a coffee house at every intersection and a knife in every Washingtonian’s heart due to selling the Sonics to the devil. And Boeing, well, I don’t have anything substantial to lament about with them but I’m sure they started building the planes so that every Pacific Northwesterner could fly away and hole up somewhere nice for a respite from day-to-day drudgery.
The rain rages on.
What’s your deal Carroll? For years we’ve managed to keep our sports teams immaculately lackluster and wholly inconsistent. Now you’re even starting to influence some of our best agonizing franchises. Jack Zduriencik, for example, now he knows how to assemble a squad of obscurity, but because of your “Win Forever” mantra he’s completely lost his way. Washington is an old dog Pete, stop trying to teach it new tricks.
I beg you Pete Carroll, please lose so that the Pacific Northwest doesn’t become a destination where the grass is greener.
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