This is a post I did about five months ago, only it was titled, “Seven College Teams Worse than the Lions.” Now that the Lions have won a game, battled the defending NFL champs pretty tough on Sunday (without their starting quarterback and best WR), and there are other teams in the NFL who make the 2008 Lions look somewhat competitive, this post is as relevant as ever.
As you all know, the Lions went 0-16 last year and many Lions fans either jumped off the wagon or straight-up killed themselves. The Lions kept trucking along though as they completely re-built the roster and coaching staff. Now, not only are the Lions better than these seven teams in my honest opinion, despite in some cases having a worse record still, but they also have a much brighter future with all the young talent starting on both sides of the ball.
Fans of the following teams, prepare yourselves for the ultimate diss: Your team is worse than the Detroit Lions. As for Lions fans, it might finally be time to start peeling that paper bag off your face and letting your faces get some sun.
7. 
Why? Because they’re 0-5. I was reluctant to put the Titans in here at all, but 0-5 speaks for itself. They creamed Detroit less than a year ago, actually played the Steelers tougher in Week 1 than Detroit did this week, and have had a pretty tough schedule; so despite them being 0-5, they rank behind some teams with wins. It appears after three frustrating losses to start the season, they have completely tanked with two consecutive blow outs. To think just a year ago after five weeks, this team was 5-0 and would go on to win their first ten games. It’s amazing what the loss of a couple key players and a defensive coordinator (Jim Schwartz) can do to a team’s fortunes. And thanks for Jim Schwartz. He’s awesome.
6. 
Why? The Lions beat them in the preseason and we all know how important the preseason is, right? How about the fact that they just lost a regular season game 6-3 to the Cleveland Browns! 6-3! With that loss, they fell to 1-4 on the season and their only win is against the Tampa Bay Bucs, who you’ll see is also worse than the Lions, so that’s no accomplishment. Before this week, I would have written their 1-3 start off to having a tough opening schedule, but they’ve outdone themselves with this nine point affair at home against the Browns. As Terrell Owens continues spreading his cancer throughout the system, things can only get worse for this team.
5. 
Why? They managed to allow a Buffalo Bills team that has scored just 44 points in their other four games to score 33 against them. Congratulations. And when they got their asses handed to them by the Philadelphia Eagles this week to drop them to 0-5, they solidified their spot in the “less than Detroit” standings. Tampa Bay, your quarterback is the “Donovan McNabb” from “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” and the coach you should have never let get away is causing fans to plug their ears on Monday nights. Good luck turning this pirate ship around.
4. 
Why? The Chiefs have actually scored the most points out of all seven of these teams, but I’d hope so considering they spent all that money on a “franchise quarterback” during the off-season. A lot of that might also have to do with the fact they’ve been blown out in three out of their first five games, opening up the field against prevent defenses. Their schedule hasn’t exactly been a walk in the park (Giants, Eagles, Ravens, and Cowboys), but they’ve left no questions about their futility.
3. 
Why? Their lone win was a 6-3 Texas shootout against the Buffalo Bills (see no. 6 on this list). Before the win, analysts were saying the Browns were legitimate contenders to go 0-16. Their team colors signify that which floats in my porcelain, and their play on the field, more times than not. Unless they can have Brady Quinn play quarterback shirtless, this is not a pretty football team (no homo).
2. 
Why? This is simple. Yes, they have two wins, one or two more than some of the teams ranked better than them, but the fact of the matter is they lost to straight up to the Detroit Lions. They allowed the Lions to snap a 19-game losing streak and have looked downright pitiful thus far this season. Their two wins come from a 9-7 musty win against St. Louis and squeeking out a win against the Bucaneers (see no. 5). Normally, a loss straight up to the Bucs would have put the ‘Skins behind them, but the loss to the Lions trumps all (mixed in there with a rather weak win against number one, who you’ll all meet in a second). Jason Campbell makes Daunte Culpepper look like he’s back in Minnesota with Randy Moss and gives guys like JeMarcus Russell hope in this league. This team is very bad and they are lucky to have any wins, much less two.
1. 
Why? 0-5 record, 34 total points, and 146 points against (2nd worst in the NFL). I honestly believe this Rams team has a serious chance to challenge the Lions 0-16 record of perfect awfulness. They have been challenging the Lions for a few years now for that “worst team in the NFL” title and I think they have ceremoniously stolen it from the Lions’ grasp. I guess we’ll find out on November 1, because it’s safe to say that the Rams will be 0-7 when they meet the Lions in Week 8.
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