That’s right, it’s the return of the shelf watch. I’ve been here the whole time, fighting off influenza, a head cold and endless “Are you still watching 30 Rock” messages. But we’re back with double the shooting guards, double the awesome foreign names and 100 percent more bitchin’ alley oops. Time to get to ready for the weekend with me, your loyal stocker. To the shelves we go!
Blazers Trends:
Top Shelf: Terry Stotts’ Incredible Button-Pushing Skills
Coach of the Year is such an impossibly close award race every year that you can't really pinpoint a favorite or argue for any one coach without sounding like a homer. Never mind that He has driven this team with a bottom five bench to a scoring average of 109.1 (tops in the league) or that they have won eight of ten games on zero days’ rest. How about their astonishing record in close games, thanks in no small part to Stott’s top notch work out of timeouts. How about Stott’s crew going almost 40 games with only one true letdown game (Jan 4th against Philadelphia). But my favorite moment this year has been Stotts chewing out his team at halftime to stop a potential month long slide. There are many little things about the Blazers on both sides of the ball, but when a coach is able to gage his team so well that he knows exactly when to berate his team into playing harder, I think I can hold off on complaining about his schemes for a little while.
Middle Shelf: The (Sort of) Return of the Alley Oop
Okay I lied. Here is one itty-bitty complaint. Remember that one season when Nate McMillan decided it was time to just start jacking up alley oops? Those days are gone, but luckily we got a glimpse of what’s possible on Wednesday against Cleveland. While I appreciate the fact that they are saving plays like these for big moments, I would love to be able to see above the rim action without changing the channel.
Bottom Shelf: Any Lineup with Joel Freeland and Meyer Leonard Together
This is easily the ugliest section of every Blazers game. Can we just wind the clock three minutes, give the other team seven points and call it good? With Thomas Robinson putting up such solid plus/minus numbers it is time to shelf this combination until a trade deadline shakeup or an injury based necessity.
Blazers Hypotheticals:
Top Shelf: The Possibility of a Two Guard Controversy
After three games CJ McCollum has been exactly what we were told we would get; a less athletic version of Damian Lillard who plays efficient offensive and spaces the floor. We also know that Wesley Matthews is capable of dragging out a bad shooting night for weeks at a time. If McCollum finds his footing and Matthews falls back to earth, how long will it be until Matthews begins losing minutes down the stretch, especially since McCollum won't have many minutes at the point with Mo Williams playing as well as he is?
Bottom Shelf: Omer Asik for Anything Better than Meyers Leonard
Here’s what we know about this upcoming offseason.
A) There are teams banking on getting a potential all-star in this year’s draft.
B) There are teams clearing cap room for this year’s free-agency class.
C) There will be teams that fail at both plans and will turn to panic trading to get back to relevancy.
Since Neil Olshey has shown that he is among the best at taking advantage of teams that need to dump assets to make big moves, it wouldn't make sense if they pick up a player that limits their cap flexibility. Unless they can receive other assets or give up a whole bunch of nothing to get Asik, it would be better to hold out for another unwanted gem.
Current Players That Have a Future in Coaching:
Top Shelf: Chauncey Billups
Billups hasn’t been relevant for quite a while now. He started at the point for the Knicks the year before Linsanity, and since then he has played in 60 games in three years. Billups has yet to get hurt this year, but he is finally showing signs of being washed up, and even if he doesn’t regain his old form he still could hold onto a roster spot for a couple more years because of his experience. He has already played under Rick Pitino, Larry Brown and George Karl and overcame a rough start to his career. Once he is done “gettin’ dem checks” he should make for a solid head coach after a couple years as an assistant for a Flip Saunders type.
Middle Shelf: Derek Fisher
Fisher has been an integral part of five (FIVE!) championship teams, has been the leader of the NBA Players Union since 2006 and has been playing top notch washed-up ball. On the other hand, he is Derek Fisher. I could see him repeating Isaiah Thomas’ career, only minus the weird Isaiah Thomas stuff.
Bottom Shelf: Steve Nash
Zero good coaches played for plus high expectations equals disaster. Also see Kidd, Jason.
Players to Trade into Second Round For:
Top Shelf: Thanasis Antentokounmpo
THE GREEK FREAK HAS A BROTHER THAT IS PLAYING IN DELAWARE! This is why the second round still exists. Unlike the NFL draft, you can stretch for guys you want after the first 20 picks, so why not grab a throwaway second rounder and take a flyer on “The Athens Assassin.”
Middle Shelf: James McAdoo
Every few drafts there’s a top prospect the stays one year to long and falls off the map. Kyle Singler was that guy a couple years ago, and now he is a productive bench player in Detroit. This year that guy is James McAdoo, a stretch four that plays solid defense. He would be an awkward fit with LaMarcus Aldridge, but could play well with Robin Lopez and could soak up minutes at the three if Dorell Wright isn’t hitting shots.
Bottom Shelf: Bogdan Bogdanovic
Bogdan Bogdanovic? Bogdan Bogdanovic.
Underneath the Bottom Shelf: Aaron Craft/Mitch Mcgary
Might as well just draft Nolan Smith again while you’re at it.
Weekend Fare:
Top Shelf: NFL Conference Championships
Do we really deserve fifteen Tom Brady and Peyton Manning matchups? Of course not. In 20 years when football is outlawed these will be the games we will remember, and will be regurgitated most by senile sportswriters. Do yourself a favor; ignore the internet, overnight yourself some maple bacon kettle chips and mute Jim Nance and Phil Simms. Just watch and soak up the last of the best “rivalry” we will ever see.
Middle Shelf: Hockey
Golf gets all the nap-time cred, but have you ever snoozed through the second period of a mid-season NHL game? You get the best hockey and the perfect amount of Doc Emrick without ever changing the channel or seeing a KPMG commercial.
Bottom Shelf: ESPN.com
When did the headlines section on the left stop being helpful and start becoming another space for ads? That bar has everything from JR Smith overhyping to blatantly promoting the addition of Tim Tebow to their endless roster of brand projecting contrarians. When Sports Illustrated has a better headlines bar that you, then it is time to reevaluate your web design.
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