Should Magglio Ordonez Retire?

Bob Biscigliano represented Detroit4lyfe and participated in an “Ice Age Athletes: Dawn of the Dinosaurs” piece over at FanSided which analyzes a variety of athletes who need to/should retire.  While the decision was tough, the first and last thought for me on the matter was Morgan Freeman.  Since he’s not an athlete, I settled for Magglio Ordonez.  Here is the write up I submitted for that piece, but I highly suggest you click here and check it out because there are some really interesting takes on which athletes need to/ should retire.

Before I start this, I want to say that Magglio has been my favorite Tiger since he joined the team. I also want you to know that I realize this is probably an unlikely conclusion to our Magglio Ordonez problems and assure you this is a “just for fun” piece. I digress.

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Magglio “Singlio” Ordonez needs to retire.

Magglio isn’t hitting at all, and when he does he’s only punch and judy. He sports a .166 BA in his last 36 at bats with one home run and just two ribs (on the home run). He can’t get around on a fastball to save his hair and is a defensive liability. Many believe Detroit should release him, but Detroit probably can’t for fear of facing a messy aggrievance being filed against the team and/or further pissing off Ordonez’s agent, Scott Boras, who represents a couple of Detroit’s most recent unsigned draft picks. We could try to trade him, but no general manager off drugs and in his right mind would ever trade for Magglio knowing that if he gets enough plate appearances or plays enough games this year, he is guaranteed $18 million for next season.

That leaves one solution: Magglio needs to hang them up.

I know he’s not going to because he’s a competitor and seems to be loving the game, and I doubt he’s thinking about that gratuitous guaranteed contract he’s not worth. Hanging up his spikes would be the right thing to do for a couple different reasons. For one, it would save Magglio the embarrassment of getting booed and potentially becoming the single most-overpaid player in Tigers franchise history. It also eases the Tigers concerns of having to play him into next year’s contract. A Magglio retirement would help the two sides part ways somewhat amicably and end Magglio’s career in a Tigers uni.