Sixers Suffer Complete Annihilation in 123-78 Loss to Clippers

By Sean Kennedy

Sunday night marked the return to the court for Clippers superstar Chris Paul, but I think his fictional insurance salesman brother Cliff Paul could have suited up against the Sixers and LA would have been just fine. As Rob Lowe’s character on Parks and Recreation would say, there was, literally, never a moment after this game started where it looked like the Sixers might have a chance. Los Angeles jumped out to a 13-0 lead to start the game, which ballooned to 26-5 after 5 minutes of play, and extended to 46-15 after one quarter, with Willie Green hitting a three-pointer at the buzzer because irony can be biting at times. The 46 points were the most the Clippers have scored and the most the Sixers have given up in a quarter this season (both of those statements are really saying something).

The bleeding was not over. The Sixers continued along on an 8-minute stretch without a field goal. They shot 15% from the field in the first half. Even for them, it was a dark comedy of shooting exhibition. The game progressed to as far as two-thirds of the way through the third quarter before someone other than Thad Young made his second field goal for the Sixers. By the way, Thad tried; he had 15 points and 11 rebounds while the Clippers were still going full speed and the rest of his Sixers teammates were performing some sort of ode to Space Jam when the NBA superstars lose their powers.

While the Sixers were building an all-brick version of a ladder to heaven, the Clippers were doing ridiculous things like this on back-to-back possession with Chris Paul throwing lobs off the backboard to Blake Griffin for windmill dunks. I tweeted out that those were good defensive possessions for the Sixers because the Clippers didn’t hit a three. It wasn’t quite one of the biggest blowouts in NBA history, purely because the Clippers only rent the space in the Staples Center from the Lakers, and the lease doesn’t permit them to leave the rotting carcasses of their opponent out on the floor. They could have won by 100, they really could have, easily.

Griffin finished with 26 points on 11-14 shooting, 11 rebounds, and 6 assists for the Clippers; DeAndre Jordan was 4-5 shooting with a couple lob finishes of his own for 10 points, along with 20 rebounds and 4 blocks. Meanwhile, all the Sixers starters were -40 or worse, except for Michael Carter-Williams, who got to play against LA’s deep reserves in landfill time (it was worse than garbage time, but don’t worry, MCW did have 8 turnovers). The team’s big trade chips, Evan Turner and Spencer Hawes, combined to shoot 1-16 from the field. The Sixers are back in action tonight against Golden State and the only positive thing about that is I don’t think things could go more poorly in that game.

Box Score

Notable Observations:

• Doc Rivers was exclusively referred to as Glenn Rivers throughout the broadcast; graphics, interviews, announcer discussions, all said Glenn with nary a mention of ‘Doc’. When and why did he decide to drop the Doc moniker? If anyone could point me to an article or something explaining the situation, it would be greatly appreciated. Inquiring minds want to know.
• Arnett Moultrie made his season debut for the Sixers, going 0-3 from the floor for 0 points in 16 minutes. The most memorable part of his evening was when the Sixers made a basket to cut the deficit to 42, the camera cut to Moultrie waiting to check in at the scorer’s table and he was doing the fake, enthusiastic clapping thing to try and show the coaches he was still engaged. No one was buying it Arnett.

Tanking Implications:

This game was beyond tanking; it was the physical manifestation of what I imagine a satire on the perils of tanking would look like. It was Sixers management putting out a performance of Springtime for Hitler but it actually being a flop. No young guy played well; any stats that appear promising from a young player were accrued against the likes of Hedo Turkoglu and Sasha Vujacic when the deficit was hovering around 50. Those stats do not count (sorry, Tony). I needed a hot shower and a loufa after this one. 3/5 tanks.