It’s been another eventful week in the sports world. I’ve got a lot on my mind and it’s time to relieve myself of that burden. Welcome to another stream-of-consciousness tour de force of what’s bugging me this week. The list is long and not prioritized. Once I start this snowball rolling downhill, I’ve no idea where or when it will stop, so strap yourself in and hold on. This buggy has no brakes….
My week began with one of my biggest pet peeves….
Hockey fights. I went to the Winterhawk’s regular season finale against Seattle. The game featured a lot of physical contact, bad attitudes, and ugly words…but that’s as far as it went. Why? Because the WHL actually has the cojones to do the right thing and punish fighting severely. It’s a game, not a bare-knuckle boxing match on skates. No goons. No blood. Just hockey. Shouldn’t that be enough?
A couple nights later, I watched the Rangers-Devils game from Madison Square Garden. Everyone watching the game knew what would happen once the puck dropped. Players from both teams were yapping at one another before the game even started, and the tension was palpable. NHL players can’t fight prior to the start of a game because they know they’ll be suspended. Once the puck is dropped, all bets are off. In this case, as soon as the puck left the lineman’s hand, three fights broke out. Three seconds had elapsed off the game clock and there was blood on the ice. Nice work if you can get it….
“The coolest game on Earth!” Yeah, bring the family, eh?
I love hockey, but I detest the brutality and the focus on fisticuffs. It seems that every NHL game involves the announcers morphing into Howard Cosell calling “Thrilla in Manila”. What this has to do with hockey is something I fail to understand.
“True” hockey fans tell me it’s about sending a message and standing up for teammates. Fair enough…but why do we rarely see fights during the Stanley Cup playoffs? And why do high school, college, and junior hockey leagues punish fighting so severely? Is “sending a message” important only in the NHL?
Or is it really just about appealing to the lowest common denominator? Is it about the game? Or is it really just blood lust writ large? And speaking of blood lust, let’s shift the focus to the….
New Orleans Saints bounty scandal. When I first heard the Saints were being investigated, I was dumfounded. How could a professional, championship-caliber organization like the Saints have engaged in such thuggish, irresponsible, and dangerous behavior? Quite easily, it turns out.
It’s bad enough that the Saints were running a bounty program that paid premiums for injuring opposing players. Making matters worse was Coach Sean Payton lying to the NFL’s investigator when asked about it. Commissioner Roger Goodell did the right thing in banning Payton for the 2012 season. GM Mickey Loomis and Greg Williams (now the defensive coordinator with the St. Louis Rams) were also suspended, and the team was fined $500,000. I’d argue that everyone concerned got off easy.
It’s no exaggeration to call football a brutal sport. George Will once described the game as “Violence punctuated by committee meetings.” Careers can be short and the physical damage incurred by players severe and enduring. Why, then, would the Saints reward hits that could not only knock players out of a game but also potentially end their careers?
The good news, is that now Payton will be free to hang out and possibly go on tour with his doppelganger, Kenny Chesney. Or he can sit at home, drink beer, and marvel vicariously at the still-considerable talents of….
Peyton Manning. The man’s what, 36? After 14 years in Indianapolis and one Super Bowl ring, Manning could be forgiven for calling it a career and grabbing his golf clubs. With a neck that’s endured four surgeries, who’d be surprised if Manning erred on the side of protecting his health and rode off into the sunset?
Instead, we get to see Manning in the orange and blue of the Denver Broncos…and how odd and dissonant does that sound? It’s almost as if the National Park Service decided to remove Teddy Roosevelt’s visage from Mt. Rushmore and replace it with Bill Clinton. That would take some getting used to, no?
The really interesting thing about Manning signing with the Broncos is the impact it had on….
Tim Tebow. As Denver’s starting QB last season, Tebow went 8-5, and even led the Broncos to an unexpected playoff victory over Pittsburgh. Tebow’s future in Denver seemed assured…and bright. Once the season ended, team president (and resident god-like legend) John Elway declared that Tebow would be the Broncos’ starting QB in 2012. ESPN’s Adam Schefter and Chris Mortenson waxed philosophic over how the Broncos would tailor their offense to suit Tebow’s unique talents.
Right. Sometimes promises are written in pencil, eh?
Once Manning signed, the football cognoscenti immediately theorized that Denver wasn’t going to be big enough for both Tebow and Manning. Then came the trade. Suddenly Tebow was a New York Jet. Wait, though; didn’t the Jets just sign starter Mark Sanchez to a long-term deal, after which he proclaimed himself the team’s leader? And didn’t the Jets just sign Drew Stanton to be Sanchez’ backup (Should I sell my Drew Stanton Jets jersey on eBay??) ? Oh, and wasn’t Greg McElroy also in the mix? Do the Jets need four quarterbacks AND a controversy over who should be the starter? Don’tcha just LOVE New York??
Man, if you thought the Jets were the NFL’s longest-running soap opera last season…well, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. With the New York media’s hyperactive, overheated focus on the Jets, Tebow’s arrival doesn’t exactly portend things being toned down. It’s no secret that Tebow’s a lightning rod due to his overt, unfiltered religiosity. Add that to the Jets’ contentious locker room, and…well, let the media-created quarterback controversy begin. Team Turmoil, indeed….
Speaking of teams in turmoil, my week wouldn’t be complete without discussing the….
Portland Trail Blazers. Interesting how all the activity at the trade deadline did nothing to make the team any less inconsistent, isn’t it? Getting rid of Gerald Wallace and Marcus Camby was exactly what the doctor ordered, eh?
Sure, the road victory over Chicago in Kaleb Canales’ first game as interim head coach was impressive. The Blazers came from behind to beat the best team in the NBA in their house. Even better, the Bulls had won 49 straight when leading after three quarters.
Then they came home and mailed in an uninspired effort against Milwaukee. The more things change, right?
Blazers fans understand that Hasheem Thabeet (not exactly the reincarnation of Hakeem Olajuwon) and Jonny Flynn aren’t about to salvage this lost season. This is a team destined for the NBA Draft Lottery…and who would have expected that in December? If you’d told me that the Blazers would be in full rebuilding mode by mid-March, I would have laughed and bought you another beer.
And yet here we are, witnesses to the death rattles of a season lost to injury, immaturity, and a disturbing lack of motivation and effort.
The good news is that the Blazers will be well positioned to sign a marquee free agent or two in the offseason. The bad news will be the difficulty in attracting free agents to the NBA’s equivalent of Siberia. Let’s face it; you and I may love living in Portland, but what self-respecting free agent jonesing for media attention and endorsement deals would want to call the Rose Garden home? Portland isn’t just where young people go to retire (gratuitous Portlandia reference). It’s also where players vanish into the NBA’s equivalent of the Witness Protection Program.
Speaking of the Rose Garden, I think I’ll wrap this up with another pet peeve:
Memorial Coliseum. The Blazers’ former home and the Winterhawks current domicile is akin to a horse that should have been dispatched to the Afterlife years ago. If you discount the horrible sound system, the funereal ambiance, and the dinginess, the Coliseum’s something approaching (not) Paradise.
I understand that some folks think the Coliseum possesses innate architectural value and should be preserved. OK…but if it’s going to be preserved, shouldn’t some money and effort be put into basic maintenance? I don’t know this for a fact, but it doesn’t seem that maintenance has been a priority of any sort. It’s as if no one really knows what to do with the Coliseum…and so nothing’s being done. Every time I go to an event there, I find myself wondering if it was worth losing the Beavers instead of razing the building and putting up a baseball stadium. It’s a glass and steel sarcophagus with little charm and even less curb appeal. It’s old, charmless, and poorly maintained. Isn’t it time that we admit that the Coliseum is past its prime and has outlived its usefulness?
They still shoot horses, don’t they?
That’s it’s for this week’s edition. Tune in next week, when I’ll explain why J.J. Hickson is the Second Coming of Bill Walton. Yes, Chad Buchanan has found the Savior who will lead the Blazers to the Promised Land.
And I’m the Queen of England….
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