Maybe I’ve had it all wrong.
Maybe instead of getting angry, I should just take a cue from life long Mets fan (?) and current World Champion Ron Artest:
Yes, we lose a lot. But no need to be cranky … just 25 more rings to tie the Los Los Yankees, right? So let’s all just lounge in the Pepsi Porch and sip some moet!
Who cares if there’s no moet in the Pepsi Porch? It’s a state of mind anyway. And we could always steal some from the Caesars Club.
Who cares if the Diamondbacks are 0-10 against the rest of baseball after the All-Star break, but 4-0 against the “Metropoli-TONS of FUN”?
Who cares if Mike Pelfrey has gone from pitching for a spot in the All-Star game to pitching for a spot on the couch of Artest’s sports psychiatrist?
Who cares that on the day we lost Billy Loes, who once famously lost a ground ball in the sun (and would have been an original Met except for the fact that he was only a 1962 Met during January and February), Jose Reyes loses his second ground ball in a week leading to five unearned runs?
Who cares if the Yankees are trading bits of string for All-Stars and only picking up the tab for half the price, while Omar Minaya’s idea of creativity is to beg other teams to take Oliver Perez?
Who cares if Raul Valdes’ carriage has turned into a pumpkin?
Who cares if Aaron Heilman is in his hotel room laughing his ass off?
Success is a nuisance, anyway.
Don’t worry, your day is coming … Artest even called it. World Champions in 2087! Of course, I’ll be 117 then, but surely Jeff Wilpon will have invented that anti-aging pill by then to ensure he owns the team forever (he’ll have to in order to get out of hock from all the lawsuits, whether it be from all those investors who lost money in the Madoff scandal, or Mo Vaughn suing for copyright infringement regarding the use of the phrase: “Metropoli-TONS of FUN”.) And when that pill goes on the market I can grab it and make sure I can witness this championship. As for this season? The Mets, as Artest says, are Dun Dun … or just plain done.
But that’s okay, because I’m gonna go call Jason Bay so we can share some ice cream in little helmets, y’all. I just hope the ice cream doesn’t give him brain freeze.
Oh, big ups to On The Black for the Mets’ new theme song.
And big ups to Kevin Elster.
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