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| An artist’s rendering of Talbot retreating during battle against Alexander the Great, circa 331 BC. |
Tuesday, Pittsburgh’s Maxime Talbot was on a local morning radio show on 105.9 The X in Pittsburgh and made some comments that sent the hockey blogosphere into a mid-summer tizzy. I guess it was probably more of a lightheadedness given that it’s almost August and this is the absolute deadest time for hockey news so any news is, well, news. No matter the symptoms, lots of folks got excited about Talbot having a few choice words for DC’s favorite non-Strasburg named son, Alex Ovechkin.
Apparently, when asked about how it was to meet Ovechkin, Talbot responded by calling him — and earmuffs on kiddies — “a real douche.” And not in the feminine hygiene sense of the word. So there you have it, that’s what makes news in August. But hey, I’ve always been a proponent of our hockey players showing more personality — even if only for the selfish reasoning of giving me more to blog about — and this is certainly a step in that direction.
And then Talbot blew it. What else should we expect from a guy named Maxime?
Much like King Darius at the Battle of Gaugamela nearly 2350 years before him, Tablot retreated as quickly as humanly possible, although presumably not on a horse and without any fear for, you know, his life. But he still retreated quickly from his statements on Alexander the Great since it just so happened that the Winter Classic press conference was being held at Heinz Field later in the day. When asked to clarify his comments, Talbot did with the kind of back tracking Michael Jackson made famous.
Given the chance to explain himself at Tuesday’s news conference, Talbot downplayed his comments.
“It’s always a big rivalry and whatever you say the other team is not going to like,” Talbot said. “He’s a great player but he’s not fun to play against. What can you say, stir up a little intensity?
“It was more about on-the-ice stuff than off the ice,” Talbot added. “You hate to play against him. That’s what I meant.”
…”And whatever you say the other team is not going to like?” Seriously, man? He says it as if he called Ovechkin a “cute little puppy” it would still be considered offensive. That’s like saying MLK’s ‘I have a dream‘ speech would mean about the same thing if King had hoped for racial inequality for his children. OK, maybe I’m going overboard with that example — not maybe, I am — but it’s August and people say ridiculous things cause there’s nothing else to do, right Max?
Doing my journalistic duty, I reached out to the agent for former Persian King Darius III but phone calls were not returned. Presumably because Darius’ press agent doesn’t want to stir up negative comparisons for his client but I have not yet ruled out a vacation in Tahiti. When we hear from him, you’ll be the first to know. Just don’t hold your breath.
Meanwhile, Alex Ovechkin did return our calls saying only that “Maxime could not knock down vodka bottle with shot even if he standing in vodka bottle factory.” He then apologized for making the call so short but he had to go shoot another commercial for GEICO.
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