Wait, is Adrian Peterson still a Minnesota Viking? Yes he is! Has he been reinstated by the NFL? I think so! Is he apparently pissed off and ready to booty blast the NFL? Sounds like it! And if you have any sense, you will hope to God that this legal-murder happens while Peterson is wearing Vikings purple. If, however, you are a mentally unstable masochist who I likely hate, then you are still hoping that Adrian Peterson gets traded for a bucket with a hole in the bottom that is filled with ephemeral “potential.” Also, you’re a fucking moron.
But it’s your lucky day! Because now we have totally unfounded, unwarranted, silly ass rumors to get us to talk about. Check out this latest drivel, from a stranger on an internet message board who is passing along information from a cock-boy radio host in Boston of all places:
Okay I’m not huge into rumors but I was listening to the New England sports show Felger and Mazz and a dude on the show said he has a guy who heard that the Cowboys are willing to trade their 1st pick and Orlando Scandrick for AP.
SCANDAL! First, Felger and Mazz sound like the two biggest polished turds this side of Paul Allen and Jeff Dubay. I don’t know them, and I don’t care to, and I bet this guy rubs his pant’s zipper vigorously thinking about how cool he’ll sound breaking Adrian Peterson trade news.
Of course, what if he’s right? Some of the ideas here do match up with what we’ve heard, that the Vikings won’t trade Peterson for anything less than a first round draft pick in the 2015 NFL Draft, and they want a starting caliber NFL player also involved in the trade. If you were going to ask for that, getting the 27th pick in the first round and a starting cornerback in his prime isn’t a terrible idea. Getting Scandrick – a 2014 2nd team all NFL guy with over 50 tackles last year – would help solidify a weak spot on the team, while allowing you more flexibility in the first round. You could pick another cornerback high with 11 if you really wanted, snag a linebacker maybe, and / or even solidify the offensive line with a late round tackle. Not a bad little haul. Of course, then you’re roster is total shit at running back, but you can’t win them all, amirite?!?!?! (you can, actually, just don’t fucking trade AP).
Is this a good idea? Probably not. I still don’t know if I would do it. I still don’t know if Dallas actually has the money for this, either. The Vikings have also said they have no plans to trade Peterson … After the draft. So ….. They will trade him before the draft? That’s some tricky bullshit, Rick.
Either way, some stupid ass team is going to make a stupid ass offer like this that all of a sudden becomes less and less stupid, and we’re just going to have to do it. And then, whatever, we asked for it at that point, you know? You get what you deserve.
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