Alright, Brandon Wood, I think that’s enough. We appreciate the effort you’ve given the Angels this year, but it is time for you to take a seat (you know, just like you do after you strikeout every third at-bat). You’ve had your chance to prove you belong and we can now clearly see that you don’t. Enough is enough.
Sorry, Brandon, but it just isn’t going to happen.
Look, Brandon, it is nothing personal. The Angel organization and fans both clearly wanted to not just see you succeed but to become a star. They’ve stuck by you even when your prospect star began to fade and stuck with you when you got off to an ice cold start to the season. But now, we are well beyond a period where we can just chalk up your troubles to a slow start. No, Brandon, it seems like we just have to all be honest with ourselves, you especially, and admit that you pretty much suck.
Actually, that’s not true. You actually don’t suck, rather you have somehow managed to accomplish the rare feat of sucking and blowing at the same time. Through 108 at-bats this year, you have managed to collect just 18 hits giving you a .167 average. But of those 18 hits, just three have been for extra bases, including two home runs. Not exactly the eye-popping power numbers that we were promised years ago. At least when you aren’t hitting you also aren’t walking, having received just two free passes all season long. That is such a huge help.
Oh, let’s not forget the strikeouts. How could we ever forget the strikeouts. After all, it is the one thing that you seem to do well. Striking out 33 times in 108 at-bats really is an impressive feat. You should really be proud of that prolific whiff rate. It doesn’t quite lead the league, but you do it with such a sense of artistry that it is worthy of admiration across the globe. Nobody, and I mean nobody, can chase an 0-2 breaking ball in the dirt that everyone knows is coming like you. That really takes a special kind of commitment to being a bad hitter to make it look so effortlessly hopeless.
As fun as this train wreck is to watch, I think it is high time everyone realize that this experiment is a total abortion. Maybe if this had been your first trip through the majors we would be able to show some additional patience, but this is your fourth tour of duty, giving you 332 big league at-bats (that’s over half a season’s worth) and the results all look the same. Very little contact, lots of strikeouts and not nearly enough pop. I know they say that nobody likes a quitter, but the only thing they like less than that is a big league starter on a contender who has only a .495 career OPS.
Frankly, I am amazed that you have lasted this long. Mike Scioscia has never had much patience for strikeouts, especially when they are occurring as a result of a fundamentally flawed approach at the plate. Sosh has just been serving as a loyal soldier to the Angel brass, even going so far as to keep his favorite pet, Maicer Izturis, off your back so you can succeed unimpeded.
That is all about to change.
Mike Scioscia has finally seen the light that this new more powerful line-up just isn’t getting the job done. The homers are there, but there just isn’t enough runners on base when those big flies come. That’s why Howie Kendrick is hitting second now, to mix in some more action players in with the guys with the patience and pop, and that is just phase one of the plan. Having Mike Napoli and you, Brandon Wood, two big power (at least in theory), big strikeout guys clogging up the bottom of the line-up in from of Aybar and Kendrick isn’t going to sit well.
With your minimal–contact, never walk approach turning the ninth spot in the line-up into essentially having a pitcher batting (and a poor hitting pitcher at that), the top of the order gets no lead in at all, but they would if Maicer Izturis were batting ninth instead. He makes good contact, he walks, he is a great situational hitter, he has speed, he can bunt. He gives Mike Scioscia options. You give Mike Scioscia an ulcer.
I know we are all supposed to be patient with you and let you figure it out, but patience wears thin for everyone at some point. We’d probably be willing to give you more time to try and find your stroke if the Angels were already sitting atop the division with a cushy lead, but they’re not, so they no longer have the luxury of waiting for the light to come on for you. It sucks that the situation had to come to this, but the Angels just have too much of a hole to climb out from to justify continuing to muck about with the starting position player with the lowest OPS in all of baseball.
Maybe you will figure everything out someday and if you do, I assure you, we will all be behind you 100%. But until that day comes, because it definitely isn’t coming anytime soon, kindly step aside, take a seat on the bench and let the big boys do the playing now.
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