The 12th Man’s Prayer

Dear gracious football father, ruler of all that is pig-skin and first downs;

Hear our prayer.

Thanks to a costly neck injury, and subsequent infusion, the prolific Peyton Manning is a free agent. Grace be to God. Missing the entire 2011 season, which set up the Indianapolis Colts to obtain the highly-coveted Andrew Luck come draft time, has rained blessings upon our always shinning Emerald City. As one of the youngest teams in the NFL; our beloved Seattle Seahawks can only benefit from the soon-to-be thirty-six year old’s wisdom. Wisdom, and completion percentage.

Football Father, hear our prayer.

While we understand that numerous franchises are pursuing Manning, we ask that you smite their fervent requests. More specifically: the Arizona Cardinals. We implore you, tiny little, seven-pound, can barely say “hut, hut hike”, football Jesus; to think of dear Manning’s personal well-being. Last season, the poor soul under Arizona white and red center, was sacked 54 times. Second to only a sad St. Louis. Clearly, an injury-prone Peyton should travel elsewhere. While we understand that Arizona Pro Bowl defensive tackle, Darnell Docket, has offered Manning everything from “free parking passes to a new barber”, one thing is for certain: there isn’t a Cardinal under the Arizona sun who can offer number 18 protection.

Football Father, hear our prayer.

Our current starting quarterback, Tarvaris Jackson, ended the previous season less than favorably. With a passer rating of 79.2, accumulating only 3,091 yards and 14 touchdowns to his 13 interceptions and five fumbles; we plead for your mercy. It is clear that our stumbling Seahawks can only benefit from Peyton, who accumulated a passer rating of 91.9 in 2010; throwing for 4,700 yards, 33 touchdowns, and only 17 interceptions.

Football Father, hear our prayer.

We understand that you have endowed billionaire owner Paul Allen with more than enough finances to sustain Manning’s $20 million-a-year-salary, as he probably finds that amount in his dryer. Simultaneously, we understand that you have equipped cheerleader coach Pete Carroll with recruiting skills that are second to none. We only ask that both present themselves at their highest potentials, and nab a playoff contending quarterback.

With all the hope, faith, and unrelenting loyalty every latte-drinking 12th man is born with.

Amen.