ITS WRESTLEMANIA WEEKEND!! Seriously, between the tanking crap, I totally need this weekend to happen. As most of you know, I’m a huge wrestling fan and I’ve been toying with having wrestling coverage on the site. I’m going to see where this goes and maybe we’ll have more wrestling takes for the future. For this piece, Luke and myself will be giving you our preview for Wrestlemania. Enjoy and tell a friend.
1.) Fatal Four-Way for the WWE Tag Team Championship: Tyson Kidd and Cesaro (c) vs. Los Matadores vs. The New Day vs. The Usos
Luke: For the second year in a row, the tag titles are relegated to a four-way match on the pre-show, and unfortunately I can’t disagree with that decision when you look at this match. I love Kidd and Cesaro, but Los Matadores did nothing all year, the New Day bores everybody, and The Usos have been in a million tag title matches over the past two years. Kidd and Cesaro should retain with a clean finish to get the crowd in a good mood. Then WWE should make some fresh teams for them to work with.
Joe: First off, The New Day is fucking horrible. I don’t know what idiot in the writers war room (Freebird) thought people would cheer a bunch of preachers who just clap and have skyblue outfits. I feel bad for the director on WWE television who has to pan the crowd to find people dancing and the only ones he can find are like 2-3 goofy looking white guys trying to dance. Anyways, Kidd/Cesaro just got the straps and I don’t think they’d lose it to The Usos (Have been champions 500 times) or Los Matadores (ZZZZZZZZ) since they haven’t really had their run. I could see a New Day winning since they are a newer act, but again, Kidd/Cesaro just got the straps and New Day blows. Yeah..I’m repeating myself. Also, Kidd/Cesaro need matching trunks. In fact, ALL TAG TEAMS NEED MATCHING ATTIRE!
2.) 7-Man Ladder Match for the Intercontinental Championship: Bad News Barrett (c) vs. R-Truth vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Stardust vs. Daniel Bryan
Luke: As fun as a multi-man ladder match with this much talent will be, I’m a little disappointed it’s happening. The biggest show of the year should be built around concluding the biggest feuds of the year, but instead WWE’s priority seems to be getting as many guys on the card as possible. Bryan and Ziggler deserve a bigger spotlight, Stardust should be having a retirement match with Goldust, and R-Truth should not be on my television at all. That’s a little harsh to Truth, who’s been entertaining in the build to this match, but like Los Matadores, placing him in title contention after doing nothing all year makes the match feel like an afterthought. I’ll pick Bryan to win the belt but I don’t think he’ll hold it long. If WWE wants to call up and push another NXT guy after Mania, what better way to get them started than by feuding with arguably the company’s best in-ring worker for the IC belt?
Joe: Ladder matches are always must-see TV and this one has all the kick ass workers you’d want in this. This could totally steal the show as the best match. However, the story line build to this with everyone being a kleptomaniac for the IC belt jumped the shark a few weeks ago. Once again, the writers just mailed it in instead of trying to have legit feuds in this match like a normal multi-person match. Could have had Bryan/Ziggler feud as being the best wrestlers in the world. Stardust/Rtruth battling for oddity supremacy. BNB/Ambrose about prestige of the IC belt. Still, the lack of storytelling should be minimized once these guys get in the ring. I think WWE is really serious about trying to put the IC belt in better place since its been meaningless for years. If you wanna do that, give the belt to Bryan.
3.) Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal: Announced participants include The Miz, Curtis Axel, Ryback, Fandango, Adam Rose, Zack Ryder, Jack Swagger, Titus O’Neil, Darren Young, Big Show, Kane, Erick Rowan, Damien Mizdow, Sin Cara, Goldust, Heath Slater, Mark Henry, Konnor, Viktor, and the as-yet unknown winner of the NXT WrestleMania Axxess Tournament.
Luke: Every show needs a popcorn match and since I’d like to see the women treated seriously, this is it. I’ll keep my expectations low, and as long as Mizdow turns on Miz I’ll be happy. I’ll pick Mizdow to win the whole thing unless the NXT entry is Finn Balor, who I think (hope) will be booked strong whenever he eventually debuts. (My guess is that Adrian Neville will get the Battle Royal spot instead and do a few high-flying moves before being eliminated and returning to NXT). The other possible wild card is Sheamus, who hasn’t been announced for this match but could be a surprise entry. Then again, Vince might decide to give us all the middle finger and have Erick Rowan win. Who knows.
Joe: Its the get everyone on the show match. I think its going to come down to The Miz and Mizdow. I’m sure this match will open the festivities and if that’s the case, you want the crowd to really pop for the winner and get the show off on a high note. If Mizdow wins, that will be achieved. Its time for Mizdow/Miz to officially split. They have been planting seeds for this breakup forever it seems like. Wrestlemania seems like the perfect event for Mizdow and those seeds to become a beanstalk.
4.) AJ Lee and Paige vs. Nikki Bella (c) and Brie Bella
Luke: The stellar women’s matches happening in NXT have embarrassed the main roster time and time again and I think they’ll be hungry to show they can go too. The women have also been getting more time on RAW lately, which I hope bodes well for this match. Nikki Bella has improved a lot over the past year, and while AJ has lost a step recently in my opinion, she’s still one of the better female workers in the company. I’m a big fan of Paige so I’m rooting for her to wreck everyone. I would give AJ and Paige the win here to keep them strong for more title matches against Nikki.
Joe: No fucking way WWE lets CM Punk’s wife (AJ Lee) get her moment at Wrestlemania. While the Bellas are smoking hot, they just don’t click with me and they have an odor of X-Pac heat on them. However, WWE loves them because they are the poster girls on that god awful Divas show on E! and it doesn’t hurt that they are banging Cena and Daniel Bryan (lucky bastards). The Bellas win and no one cares.
5.) Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins
Luke: These are two of the best in-ring performers in WWE so I’m sure they’ll have a great match, but I’m not sure what the point of it is. Didn’t we get the big blow-off a few weeks ago when Orton destroyed Rollins all around ringside and RKO’ed him through a table? What’s he going to do now – RKO him through two tables? I predict Orton wins but I’m starting to get worried about Seth taking so many losses. He’s the best of the ex-Shield guys right now by a mile, but they’re jeopardizing his momentum by having him put over everyone from Cena to Reigns to Stephanie McMahon to now Orton. He won’t be a credible threat to the top guys much longer if he keeps getting his ass handed to him in the ring and on the mic. That said, a brutal, even match between these guys could steal the show and get them both back on track.
Joe: Here’s another story that could have been white hot that creative fucked up. Why on earth did Randy Orton see fit to join back with “The Authority” when Seth Rollins kicked his ass 5 months ago and put him on the shelf? Like, seriously. Watch this and tell me why Orton would
A) Come back and join them?
B) The Authority would be dumb enough to allow him back?
Everyone knew Orton was going to turn. What the storyline should have been was Orton chasing after Rollins to beat his ass for the last 5 weeks and Rollins cowerring behind the Big Show/Kane/J&J security and then culminating with Orton finally getting his hands on Rollins at WM. It is always about the chase when it comes to leading up to a rasslin match. Instead, they did the double-cross angle that we saw coming and Orton fucking killed Rollins on Raw. Why would I want to see this when the payoff already happened? Dumb. Anyways, Rollins is a star. He cuts sick promos and he’s a jack of all trades in the ring. With Orton always seeming to deliver solid matches, this could be really good. Booking 101 says they should go with Rollins since Orton is already over. However, Rollins still has the money in the bank case which ultimately makes him bulletproof in terms of not having his heat taken away from him. Hmmm..I say Rollins because a heel’s gotta win at some point on this card.
6.) United States Championship Match: Rusev (c) vs. John Cena
Luke: Let’s go Rusev and Lana!!! I’m dreading the outcome but excited for the match anyway. Since the moment Rusev debuted as an undefeated, corny, 80s-style Russian heel, you could tell this train was heading for the brick wall named John Cena. Cena needs a big-time match that keeps him out of the title picture, and frankly I think that’s the only reason the Rusev character exists. I expect a replay of Wrestlemania 30 where Cena beats a young rising star, setting them back for months, if not permanently. Lord knows Bray Wyatt hasn’t recovered. But like I said, I’m still super excited. Cena’s ring-work in big matches is underrated and Rusev is great and one of the few guys on the roster who really sells injuries and pain. The build-up has also been handled a lot better than some of the other matches on the card that gave away too much (Rollins/Orton) or too little (Undertaker/Wyatt). On top of that, I’m sure Rusev and Lana will make a badass entrance, and the Mania crowd cheering the Russian will be a fun sight. RUSEV CRUSH!
Joe: Only John Cena’s suckatude could get me to cheer for Drago and Brigitte Nielsen in this feud. The build has been good as USA Vs. “Insert country we currently have beef with” has always been an easy sell. If they didn’t have a match at the last PPV I would say this would be tough to call, but since Rusev beat Cena, it would only make sense that Cena gets his win back. Of course, beating someone who hasn’t been pinned since he got to WWE should be a moment that could get a new guy over. However, WWE ignores that rule when it comes to Cena. HE GETS EVERYTHING FROM NICKI BELLA’S BOOBS TO STOMPING A MUD HOLE ON ANYONE! Cena sucks and wins.
7.) Undertaker vs. Bray Wyatt
Luke: I gotta say, I’m not feeling this one. The appeal of the Undertaker in 2015 is all about the hype, not the reality of what transpires in the ring. 50 year-old Mark Calaway probably can’t wrestle a great match anymore, but the Undertaker character and all that goes into it is still awesome – his look, music, entrance, sudden appearances, magic lightning, etc. So WWE, in their infinite wisdom, has had Undertaker on TV a grand total of zero times in the build up to this match. That’s baffling to me. Are we supposed to worry that he won’t show up? I’ll predict Bray gets a “controversial” win, and we get a “does Undertaker still have it?” storyline leading to a retirement match for the Deadman at Wrestlemania 32 in his home state of Texas.
Joe: Not having Undertaker on TV really hurt this feud. I love Bray Wyatt and his presentation. However, you can’t have a program with someone when they other person isn’t there to help build it and burning Bray’s Grandma rocking chair doesn’t count. Plus, Wyatt has a tendency to babble incoherently when he doesn’t have a focus or in this case a guy in front of him to cut a promo on and go back and forth. Anyways, I am excited to see Undertaker at WM and I guess that’s why WWE decided to not have him on Raw so the only reason you can see him is by paying $9.99. Wyatt should win since he’s fulltime and could be a passing of the torch moment for him to be the dark character in WWE since Taker has like 2 matches left. However, we know they aren’t having Taker lose two matches in a row at WM. Taker wins.
8.) Sting vs. Triple H
Luke: WWE did a great job getting me excited for this match in the last two weeks, with Sting saving Orton from The Authority and then opening the next week’s RAW with a really good promo. And besides – it’s frickin’ Sting at frickin’ WrestleMania! This is a huge deal! I’m sure he’ll get an incredible entrance (Triple H probably will too) and then we’ll cross our fingers for a good match from the old guys. Personally, I’m not that worried. Triple H was great as a part-time performer last year, and I bet Sting is more motivated than he’s been in decades. They’re probably too old to steal the show but I bet this match is fun as hell. Sting wins.
Joe: This is the match I’m looking forward to the most. I was a huge Sting fan in WCW and have always wanted him to make the jump to WWE. Finally, we have that with his WWE debut against Hunter. The build has been really good as Sting hasn’t been overexposed and HHH has really sold the fear factor he has towards him. A part of me does wonder if some asshole will get in Vince McMahon’s ear and say that HHH losing to Sting would be an omission that WCW was better than WWE. Of course, whoever says that should be thrown out of a window or get “stinked faced” by Rikishi. Both are equally bad. If HHH loses, it would be his 4th straight WM match he’s lost. Hmmm. I think Sting wins. There’s nothing for HHH to gain here. Give Sting his WM moment.
9.) WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match: Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Roman Reigns
Luke: I’m sure the original plan here was for fans to rally behind Roman Reigns and for Reigns to win the belt clean, but I think plans have changed since the disastrous Royal Rumble. Lesnar announcing his new WWE contract this week on ESPN and Reigns telling Rolling Stone that fans should shut the hell up has my Spidey Senses tingling for a double turn. Adding to the intrigue is that, unless I’m mistaken, neither guy has been calling their matches lately – Bryan and Orton led Reigns, and Cena and Taker called the shots with Lesnar. I’ll be curious how they coordinate the match without a WWE veteran to lean on.
For the finish, I think Brock should retain the championship because his build has been too strong to waste on a guy wrestling only his 3rd PPV singles match ever, and who the fans aren’t all that excited about. Brock snapped the 21-year winning streak of a former multiple-time WWE champion at the biggest show of the year, and then utterly demolished WWE’s top guy for the past decade in a squash title match at the second biggest show of the year. That isn’t something you can just replicate with the next tall guy called up from NXT – this is special. You don’t beat Brock until the time and the opponent are right, and this isn’t it. Let Heyman interfere to make Roman look strong – or have Seth Rollins cash in his Money in the Bank mid-match to take the losing pinfall instead – but keep Brock’s momentum going until fans are desperate for him to be beat. If that’s not until WrestleMania 32 or beyond, so be it.
That’s just what I would do, though, not a prediction. I don’t think WWE has that much patience or that much interest in giving Lesnar even more leverage to demand more money and special treatment, so I think Heyman screws Brock, Reigns turns heel and wins the belt as the next Heyman guy while babyface Brock gets some time off before a SummerSlam rematch. Nothing wrong with that either!
Joe: This could go in a number of different directions. Probably one of the hardest WM main events that I can remember predicting. Lesnar re-signing with WWE pretty much changed the game on this one. Does WWE abandon their plan to get Reigns over after 12 months of building Lesnar as this giant killer only to then have Reign slay the dragon? Does Lesnar turn face? Will the crowd boo the crap out of Reigns? If Reigns loses, his stock is pretty much fucked because of where he is as a performer who is kind of meh (See: Ryback after he lost to CM Punk). WWE has wanted Reigns to be the guy for almost a year now. I mean, the dirt sheets have pinned this match to happen since the summer. We all know WWE hasn’t done Reigns any favors creatively. He’s been better as late as they are adapting the Goldberg method of kicking ass, grunting and saying very little. However, the stench of fans turning on him at the Royal Rumble and his “sufferin succotash” promos from around December are still on most people’s minds.
To me, if you really wanna make Reigns, you make him a heel. Have Paul Heyman betray Lesnar in some shape or fashion. In the history of top guys in wrestling who are faces, they always seem to get over first as heels and then the fans/promoter turn them good (See: HHH/HBK/Austin/Rock/Hogan/Cena/Punk/Mankind/Angle/Jericho and a shitload of others). Then, you could have Lesnar do the chase which most promoters say the money is in. However, with Lesnar being part-time, that could hurt the chase since he can only do it for like a month at a time. The bottom line for me is they are insane to have Reigns beat Lesnar as a face since he currently sucks at that persona. On the other side of the coin, you have all this publicity for Lesnar staying with the company and he’s obviously a much bigger star than anyone on this card. You really wanna take away the steam he’s gotten? If I were them, I’d somehow have Reigns turn, but still have Lesnar win.
A friend of mine suggested having Lesnar be in big trouble during the match and then have Heyman turn on him because he thinks he’s going to lose (Think giving Reigns a chair or something) and then have Lesnar pull it out at the end with the monster comeback. I like that idea and I’d throw in a Monday Night “official turn for Reigns” where he beats the shit out of Lesnar and sends him away for him to come back in the Summer for his revenge. Lesnar’s championship reign is the best part of the company right now because its special when he defends the title as it doesn’t happen all that much. Its vintage 80s rasslin when Hulk Hogan fought once every 4 months on primetime/PPV.
What will they do???
My prediction: Reigns wins. I think Vince McMahon has a hard-on for making a star he’s branded as the chosen one. Maybe they do a turn with Reigns, but I just think they are too stubborn to abandon the plan they hatched out from a year ago.
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