The Crosky on Soccer MLS All-Star Teams: Favorites, Forgotten, Underpaid, Overpaid

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To celebrate the upcoming MLS All-Star game this week, I decided to come up with my own various “All-Star” teams, the first being the “Crosky on Soccer MLS All-Favorite Team” which consists of my personal favorite players in the league schematically placed into a 3-5-2 formation. I sought out players that exemplify the type of work rate, effort, and tenacity that I admire and attempted to replicate during my own playing career. It also didn’t hurt if a player happened to share a variety of my physical features (short, ginger, beard, etc.) as well.

Without further ado here are the big winners…

STARTING XI: 3-5-2
GK – David Ousted (Vancouver Whitecaps) – MLS has a  slew of top quality goalkeepers but Ousted’s competitiveness, tenacity, and big save ability put him head and shoulders above the rest. He simply gets the job done each and every week.

Def – Dan Gargan (LA Galaxy) – Dan Gargan is an MLS lifer and a journeyman who finally found a consistent home playing outside back for the LA Galaxy. What he lacks in ability he makes up by working his ass off. And I would be hard-pressed not to mention is consistent bedhead game to game is hilarious. What’s not to love?

Def – Nat Borchers (Portland Timbers) – I generally rock a beard on my face in my day-to-day life but no matter how much I try it will never reach the epic proportions of Mr. Borchers. Beyond his beard that demands to be feared, I appreciate his workman like and consistent play, he is a stalwart on the backline for the Timbers. The quality play, beard, and rocking my lucky number 7, how could I not have Borchers on my All-Favorite Team?

Def – Drew Moor (Colorado Rapids) – Drew Moor is a quality human being and one heck of a player as well. If I am building a team from scratch, Drew Moor is high on my war room list. He understands how to win and what perseverance is all about.

Def Mid – Dax McCarty (New York Red Bulls) – A fellow ginger makes the list here with this selection. Many of my friends and family believe I resemble Dax, be it that I am also a short, freckly, ginger. My wife calls Dax “the successful version of you” which is 100% accurate. Dax is me in a parallel soccer universe. Good on you, Dax!

Def Mid – Kyle Beckerman (Real Salt Lake) – While I often wonder how much faster and agile Kyle Beckerman might be without the pounds and pounds of dreads on his head, I love his never say die attitude and his team-first mentality. Beckerman epitomizes the player you loathe to play against but absolutely love to have on your squad.

Mid – Pedro Morales (Vancouver Whitecaps) – Pedro Morales is just plain old fun to watch. He is the engine of the Vancouver Whitecaps attack, which has the ability to create or finish quality chances at any given moment. The Whitecaps have become appointment viewing for me since Morales arrived on the scene.

Mid – Diego Valeri (Portland Timbers ) – See above. Valeri is in the same mold as Morales, just being a player I can’t wait to watch. It certainly doesn’t hurt that I reside in the Pacific Northwest so the Timbers have become my favorite team. Valeri is the heart of the team, and his absence at the beginning of this season was felt. This guy is must watch week after week.

Mid – Sebastian Giovinco (Toronto FC) – Who doesn’t love watching the Atomic Ant make plays?? If he doesn’t win League MVP and Newcomer of the Year this season, we should just throw both awards away. This guy is without question the best player in the league, and yes I say that knowing full-well the likes of Kaka, Lampard, Gerrard, Pirlo, and Villa are all now in the league. Seba is numero uno!

Fwd – Robbie Keane (LA Galaxy) – Keane is a leader, a winner, and a goal scoring machine. Keane will play until his legs fall off or he dies on the field. What more needs to be said?

Fwd – Joao Plata (Real Salt Lake) – Plata is the epitome of “The Little Engine That Could” and who doesn’t love that story? He is a small man succeeding a big man’s game. He and I are the same height so in that way I can relate and will always root for him. Much like Dax, Plata is also 1000 times the player I ever was or could be.

SUBSTITUTES:
GK – Luis Robles (New York Red Bulls) – The early days of the Metrostars saw the likes of Tony Meola, Tim Howard, and Mike Ammann between the pipes, true standouts in the league. The time period in between that group has been pedestrian at best. It’s a safe bet you can etch Robles in that class of Metro legends. Robles has been a blessing and consistent bright spot for the club since his arrival. He is calm, cool, collected, and the definition of selfless.

Def – Jeff Larentowicz (Chicago Fire) – Hard-nosed, tough, tenacious, team first, and ginger, all are words that personify Jeff Larentowicz. He is a defensive midfielder by trade but has spent majority of his time at centerback with Chicago Fire. The guy never quits and can make plays on both sides of the ball.

Def – Aurélien Collin (Orlando City SC)– Collin is loved by some, and hated by most, which is the exact description I want for my centerback. A few critics out there even have the gall to label him “cheap” or “dirty” while I do not. I’ll take a guy who walks that fine line any day, over a player who most may call soft or weak.

Mid – Michael Bradley (Toronto FC) – Bradley is not only the engine for the US Men’s National Team but also the midfield puppet master for Toronto FC. He is ready, willing, and able to play any midfield role he is asked to. An honest, focused, genuine leader, Michael Bradley is Captain America.

Mid – Matias Perez Garcia (San Jose Earthquakes) – MPG as he is nicknamed, fits the mold of smooth, crafty, and skilled that I mentioned previously about Valeri and Morales. MPG has phenomenal playmaking ability and the technical prowess to maneuver around numerous defenders. He is a site to see.

Mid – Will Trapp (Columbus Crew) – A fellow Central Ohio native, Will Trapp is my favorite youngster in the league. Hopefully his concussion issues earlier this season will not hinder his life or playing career. He is a player I truly believe will make his way onto the next World Cup squad. Though, Klinsmann is a hard one to read so who knows?! Regardless, he is a true joy to watch in the center of the pitch. Often overlooked in a small market, he plays a big yet subtle game.

Fwd – Clint Dempsey (Seattle Sounders) – Dempsey can be infuriating one minute, and then provide that “Holy Shit!” moment the next. He is one of a few American players willing to play with flair and creativity. Clint has provided moments of brilliance during play, and legendary hilarity in between (“Dempsey Face” and the ref book saga). He can drive me mad at times but I am willing to take the good with the bad, because his good is GREAT!

Now let’s move on to the “MLS All-Forgotten Team” which are players that I believe are often overlooked by fans, soccer writers, and certain national team coaches. Who do you think fits that criterion? Let me know your thoughts.

MLS All-Forgotten Team

STARTING XI: 4-5-1
GK – Dan Kennedy (FC Dallas) – Took his lumps at Chivas USA for years but he is now manning the goal for the best team in Major League Soccer, yet few soccer pundits bring his name up as an upper echelon goalkeeper. He should be in that conversation.

Def – AJ DeLaGarza (LA Galaxy) – With star power the likes of David Beckham, Robbie Keane, Landon Donovan and now Steven Gerrard, a player like DeLaGarza is easy to overlook. He isn’t a sexy player on paper but he is consistent player season after season, able to play centerback or rightback.

Def – Jeff Larentowicz (Chicago Fire) – I have to give an ode to my fellow ginger once again. Larentowicz is a stalwart in the back for Chicago Fire. See my description above.

Def – Drew Moor (Colorado Rapids) – See my description above. Additionally I will say that Moor finally received the recognition he rightfully deserves this season, after being named to the MLS All-Star team. It’s great to see, especially considering his recent recovery from an ACL injury and that the game will be played in his own backyard at Dick’s Sporting Goods Park.

Def – Chris Tierney (New England Revolution) – The most underrated left foot in the entire league. He can cross a ball with great velocity and accuracy. I have often wondered why he has never been brought up for a U.S. Men’s National Team camp. A team can never have too many left-footed players.

Mid – Dax McCarty (New York Red Bulls) – Another fellow ginger makes the list for a second time.  We gingers just get no respect, and the Ginger Ninja, Dax McCarty, is no exception. See my description above. Dax  is also hilarious on Twitter. Give him a follow: @DaxMCCarty11

Mid – Brian Carroll (Philadelphia Union) – If MLS ever created an “Underappreciated Award” it should be named after Brian Carroll. The guy doesn’t score goals, he doesn’t talk smack, he just plays the game with 100% effort each and every 90 minutes. He has been an integral member of two MLS Cup winning teams, and two Support Shield winning clubs. His nickname should be “Mr. Consistent” because game to game a coach knows what he will get from Brian Carroll.

Mid – Justin Mapp (Montreal Impact)– Everything I just said about Brian Carroll, you can say about Justin Mapp, though with more of a scoring and creative touch. While he isn’t going to dazzle us with highlight reel goals, he will make the smart plays consistently. He can always be counted on to be sharp and ready to play.

Mid – Jack Jewsbury (Portland Timbers) – You can call him a “Jack-of-all-Trades” as Jewsbury is one of the Timbers most versatile and consistent players. You will see him playing and succeeding in a variety of areas on the field, from defensive midfielder to outside back to outside midfield. Not great at any one thing, he is exceptionally adequate at everything. Jack is a hell of a teammate, and certainly underappreciated by coaches and national fans alike.

Mid – Ned Grabavoy (Real Salt Lake) – It was no accident that Jason Kreis’s first selection in the 2014 Expansion Draft was Ned Grabavoy. He is a player that knows how to play all four spots of the diamond midfield Kreis prefers. He is a winner in every sense of the word, and provides never-ending energy and effort night in and night out.

Fwd – Chris Rolfe (DC United) – Rolfe doesn’t command the headlines a lot of forwards might but you can bet he does command the respect of defenders around the league. While he has yet to record double digit goals in a season, he does score on a consistent basis. When he isn’t hitting the back of the net he is creating chances for others, with his tremendous runs and accurate passes. He is consistently flying under the radar when it comes to national praise, he didn’t fly under with Crosky on Soccer.

SUBSTITUTES:
GK – Luis Robles (New York Red Bulls) – See above.

Def – Nat Borchers (Portland Timbers) – See above.

Def – Dan Gargan (LA Galaxy)– See above.

Mid – Davy Arnaud (DC United) – Following in the footsteps of aforementioned midfield generals, Brian Carroll and Ned Grabavoy, Arnaud can do it all. He can score, setup, play lockdown defense, and lead.

Mid – Brad Evans (Seattle Sounders) – If you haven’t noticed the theme thus far, it is versatility. The most underappreciated players are generally guys who aren’t phenomenal at any one thing but are formidable in a lot of different areas. This is Brad Evans. Similar to Jack Jewsbury, Brad is a tough, willing, and capable of excelling all over the field.

Mid – Paulo Nagamura (Sporting KC) – Nagamura languished in the wasteland that was Chivas USA for numerous seasons but has found his groove again in spot duty with Sporting KC. He was an integral member of two MLS Cup winning teams over his career, though few would ever know such a stat. Why? Because he is unappreciated of course!

Fwd – Alan Gordon (LA Galaxy) – Similar to AJ DeLaGarza, Gordon gets lost between the bright stars that surround him but here is a quote I created regarding Alan Gordon… “Death, taxes, and Alan Gordon goals off the bench, the only guarantees in life.” Need I say more?
Recently, the MLS Players Union released the salaries of each player in the league. Scrutiny is bound to follow. Below is my list for “MLS All-Overpaid Team” Often times, people misconstrued such pieces as viewing the player in a negative light. I assure that is not how I construct such a list. My only focus is the ROI or Return on Investment. What is the bang for the buck for said player?

MLS All-Overpaid Team

STARTING XI: 3-4-3
GK – Rais Mbohli (Philadelphia Union) $350,000 – The highest paid goalkeeper in the league, Mbohli lasted a whole nine games in the league before the Union cut ties with the Algerian. Unfortunately for Philadelphia he is still on the books. Ouch!

Def – DaMarcus Beasley (Houston Dynamo) $813,333.33 – Cashed in immediately after a successful World Cup stint last summer. Over $800K for a left full back is insanity for any MLS club.

Def – Todd Dunivant (LA Galaxy) $205,750 – I love Dunivant as a player but having played less than 500 minutes over the last two season, the bang for the buck just isn’t there for him.

Def – Ronald Zubar (New York Red Bulls) $320,000 – Zubar was slated to be the rock for the Red Bulls backline but thanks to persistent injuries he has only seen action in a whopping 3 games.

Mid – Maurice Edu (Philadelphia Union) $768,750 – A solid defensive midfielder by trade, he has been thrust into centerback work much of this season. And don’t get me wrong, I really like Edu as a player and even think he should be considered as a USMNT option but after a 6 year stint in Europe he returned stateside overpaid. Good for him.

Mid – Atiba Harris (FC Dallas) $130,000 – I am shocked that Harris is even in the league anymore so the fact he makes more than $0 per season earns him the label of overpaid, in my book.

Mid – Roger Espinoza (Sporting KC) $750,000 – Espinoza earns double what teammate, Benny Feilhaber does. Enough said.

Mid – Jermaine Jones (New England Revolution) $3,052,500 – Jones has missed the majority of the season so far thanks to surgery. $3 million is a lot of cash to not be on the field. Even when he was on the field this season, I didn’t think his level of play matched his salary.

Fwd – Kennedy Igboananike (Chicago Fire) $901.666.67 – Two goals in 19 games played (12 starts) isn’t anywhere close to enough bang for the buck. A designated player earning near seven figures needs to earn his keep. A combination of his salary plus his lack of goals is an anchor to the Fire’s entire team.

Fwd – Kenny Cooper (Montreal Impact) $285,625 – Cooper? Cooper? Has anyone seen Kenny Cooper?? Kenny’s goal scoring prowess hasn’t been worthwhile in three seasons, when he had some lad named Thierry Henry facilitating him the ball.

Fwd – Robbie Findley (Toronto FC) $255,500 – I have never understood the fascination by many folks when it comes to Findley. Even an astute soccer mind like Bob Bradley thought well enough about Findley to bring him on to the 2010 World Cup squad, a head scratcher for me even then. Four years later, I am surprised he is making a quarter of a million dollars to play soccer.
Now on the flipside, here is the “MLS All-Underpaid Team” essentially the bargain bin for MLS teams. These players are the type of stocks you dump your life savings into considering their phenomenal return rate.

MLS All-Underpaid Team

STARTING XI: 4-4-2
GK – Josu Saunders (New York City FC) $90,000 – The starting goalkeeper for Manchester City USA makes under $100K? That’s a steal of a deal.

Def – Alvas Powell (Portland Timbers) $68,700 – Powell is still raw and improving week by week but the fact that he makes just above the MLS minimum salary is incredible. He is lighting quick, learning how to defend one v one, and has a very high ceiling. He will certainly get paid sooner or later.

Def – Zach Scott (Seattle Sounders) $65,000 – A Seattle Sounder lifer, he is the lone A-League Sounder still playing with the big boys in MLS. For the love of God the guy should be making six-figures just by tenure alone. Pro soccer can be a cruel world sometimes.

Def – Matt Miazga (New York Red Bulls) $74,500 – The Red Bulls home grown talent has been thrown into the fire this season at the ripe old age of 19 (he just turned 20 last week) and has exceeded all expectations. This is a kid we will see in the National Team picture after the 2018 cycle, no doubt about it.

Def – Chris Duvall (New York Red Bulls) $60,000 – Ali Curtis and Red Bull management have done a spectacular job of getting the best bang for their buck, especially on the backline. Duvall is on the league minimum right now but hopefully he comes back from his broken leg at or near the same level.

Mid – Fabian Castillo (FC Dallas) $160,000 – Castillo is likely on his way out of Dallas and on to the greener pastures of Europe. This kid can flat out fly. Don’t get me wrong, he isn’t simply an athlete playing soccer, he is a legitimate soccer player. What Euro team will pony up the dough and how much??

Mid – Sebastian Lletget (LA Galaxy) $100,500 – The most shrewd transaction made by the Galaxy this year (and yes I know all about Stevie G.) The bang for the buck on Lletget is sky high. He scores goals, acclimated himself to the biggest team in the league within just weeks, and is contributing early and often. On a salary just north of $100K, wowie!

Mid – Scott Caldwell (New England Revolution) $67,500 – While the Revs are overpaying for Jermaine Jones in the midfield, they are getting a bargain bin deal with Caldwell. I suppose that evens everything out in the end for Robert Kraft and company.

Mid – Marco Pappa (Seattle Sounders) $75,000 Is this a joke? Is this a misprint? How in the name of God’s green earth does Marco Pappa only make $75K? Sounders GM, Garth Lagerwey, better pony up the cash for this left-footed maestro. Lock him up for the long-haul.

Fwd – Mike Grella (New York Red Bulls) $60,000 – I swear I had Grella on this list before he scored that amazing goal versus Beneficia this past weekend. I promise I did! That goal just cemented his spot on the underpaid list. The guy can ball and score goals. Ali Curtis needs to bump him into the $100K range, in my humble opinion.

Fwd – Harry Shipp (Chicago Fire) $112,500 – While his play has regressed a bit statistically this season, Shipp is still a good deal for the bean counters in Chicago. Something tells me Shipp also believes he should be making a few more bucks. His comment about TFC’s Sebastian Giovinco earlier this year leads me to believe so… “I wonder if Giovinco knows that he will literally make more money in 2 days than some of his teammates will the entire year MLS?” Ouch!

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