In my last article where I discussed how to introduce new fans to the game of hockey, and how it is a tangible way to grow the game. I also discussed how people learn some of their most basic skills in life; like riding a bike, fishing, etc but how are parents supposed to learn how to go about instilling some of these most basic lessons in their children? Most parents probably find out through trial and error, or simply attempting to repeat and refine what they used for that lesson with a previous child. Yet not all parents wish to struggle as much, and at times they can find themselves unwilling to leave a certain comfort zone and their approach can detract from the fun involved or make their child lose the desire to want to use that skill altogether. Parenting magazines, websites dispense all kinds of advice of how to teach your kids. How push their children to achieve their best, how to not kill the fun of being a kid, etc. As a school teacher I see parenting in action all of the time; the hands-off style, the “I want to be their friend” style, the strict controlling style and many other hybrid styles in between. Each one has their benefits and for some kids the style of parenting works very well but for others it can do a child a huge disservice.
I realize that in the grand scheme of things that athletics are really a secondary lesson parents often teach in comparison to being respectful, good manners and other behavioral values. However, how many of us can name a psycho sports parent? The parent that may be living their athletic dreams through their child and pushes them mercilessly, who often is quick to criticise coaching and a small reduction in their child’s playing time suddenly becomes a giant confrontation between psycho parent and coach? I think its safe to say you can name at least one parent like that and probably more. That brings me to two different hockey sources I had a chance to watch and read this winter. The hockey documentary film Pond Hockey and Bob McKenzie‘s (yes, the former editor of the Hockey News, and current TSN analyst) book Hockey Dad: True Confessions from a (crazy) Hockey Parent. Both the film and book have a different level of focus but there are some basic truths that I think is important to share to those of you who are hockey parents out there. In a very basic level I think there is some good parenting advice embedded in both, and sadly both sources point out how society seems to be losing on what used to be a basic tennant of childhood. As an educator and coach I will offer up some of my own candid observations as well.
First, I’ll start with the documentary film Pond Hockey, released in 2008 by Northland Films. The documentary features interviews with many past and present NHL stars like Wayne Gretzky, Sidney Crosby, Lou Nanne, Neal Broten, Phil Housley, and Jonathan Toews who all talk about how they spent hundreds (if not thousands of hours) playing pond hockey as kids. They gave numerous examples of how the little tricks and skills they tried in an unstructured environment have played a significant role in their development. The film then covers the annual U.S. Pond Hockey Championships played on Lake Nokomis near Minneapolis, Minnesota. This attracts teams from all over the world, as they like to challenge for the coveted golden shovel, and the film covers a few local (Minnesota-based) pond hockey teams competing in the tournament. The Federal League All Stars led by pond hockey phenom Jeff Sorem (whose team included former college hockey players like Tyler Hirsch, and Matt Henderson) and Sofa King Lazy led by Mark Kovacich. In Sorem’s case his hockey pedigree is pretty impressive as he played four years of Division 1 hockey at Yale, while Kovacich never even advanced to finish out playing high school hockey. The footage from the tournament is very impressive demonstrating that even though officially this is an amateur event the level of play is quite high. However all of the players, pro’s or non-pro’s note how pond hockey really is all about having fun in an unstructured setting.
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A constant theme throughout the film was how by playing in an unstructured environment, it gave a player a chance to work on so many more skills than you are normally able to at a traditional hockey practice. One example given was that at a typical one-hour hockey practice a player may take 50 shots on goal, but if they were to do the same thing by going out for an hour of pond hockey they may shoot 150-200 times. The movie asserts that hockey playing kids spend too much time only playing hockey in practices and organized games. I have to admit, as a coach that really sort of opened my eyes. I asked two young cousins of mine who are playing youth hockey how often do they just go out and play pond hockey? These are two kids whose room is plastered with hockey related posters and they love the game but both said they don’t play pond hockey all that often. I wondered if these kids were missing out on something. I also began to observe that I don’t see a lot of kids playing pond hockey in the winter as much as I remember even 10 years ago. You can drive by city parks where they flood a sheet of ice and even provide goals and boards but it will be empty. Few are just out there skating, or just working by themselves like so many of us did when we were young. My father remembers fondly walking to the local frozen sheet and playing hockey for hours and then making the long and cold walk home once the sun went down. Sure I understand for parents there is a saftey factor in place here about having kids walk home after playing pond hockey for hours. Yet at the same time when you hear about all sorts of data regarding childhood obesity wouldn’t it be good to encourage kids that live in areas that have a good solid winter season to play pond hockey for some needed exercise? Even in the summers, when you drive by the local city parks take a look at the playground and more often than not they’re probably empty. Same goes for kids riding their bikes around town, you see less and less of that as well. Perhaps pond hockey could be as much about increasing a child’s exercise level as it is about improving their game.
The big lesson is, for a child or anyone to improve their game it does not necessarily mean they have to be in a structured environment. While there is a place for establishing uniformity in certain skills much of the skating, creativity and an increased amount of repetitions can be had in unstructured environment of just going out to your local frozen pond or sheet and skating and experimenting on their own. The documentary Pond Hockey is a testament to that philosophy and while it may drive some hockey coaches and parents a bit crazy loosening the reigns of control it may just be precisely what was needed to help perhaps a disatisfied player re-kindle their thirst for the game.
Parents play a crucial role the development of their children; whether it be in their acquisition of social skills, their approach and attitude towards school, and often their level of sportsmanship. This is more or less the backdrop for TSN’s NHL Analyst Bob McKenzie’s book Hockey Dad: True Confessions from a (crazy) Hockey Parent. McKenzie’s story is his own journey through the crazed hockey world of Southern Ontario as his son’s Mike and Shawn attempt to live out their hockey dreams all the while balancing the demands of being one of Canada’s most visible hockey broadcasters. For the most part, McKenzie makes the book less about his work at TSN (Canada’s ESPN) but more about his role as dad and at times hockey coach of his two kids. As any parent can tell you, just because something works with one kid doesn’t mean it will work with the other and that in itself provides a lesson to some parents who may be at wits end with one of their children. His oldest son Mike took the game very seriously and loved be out on the ice as much as possible, while the younger brother Shawn wasn’t nearly as passionate at it. Bob tracks both of his son’s hockey careers from the very start to where it finally reached its zenith. So why is this interesting, and who cares? Because as you’ll read many experiences of his sons as they face the stress of tryouts, or game situations (as in how to deal with a player who is notoriously cheap, angry hockey parents, etc) Bob shares how he dealt with it and most importantly what he told his kids. At times he did not always do the most respectful or politically correct thing, and perhaps if you find yourself in that situation you can perhaps learn from his mistakes.
The book is very candid and his ability to recall specific conversations is quite remarkable, but he weaves it well together. Mike would eventually earn a partial scholarship to play Division 1 hockey at St. Lawrence (ECAC) and just wrapped up his senior season with the Saints as their 2nd leading scorer with 14 goals, 35 points in 41 games. It was not as graceful an ending to Shawn’s hockey career who watched it be cut short by concussions. Bob McKenzie understands all too well how hockey can open doors but he also understands how to be there for a child who simply can no longer participate in contact sports for medical reasons. He also goes through the similar roller coaster ride of emotions as the seasons go on; from ones where he was frustrated, apathetic and even the humorous moments as well. It really does typify the long journey that is a child’s hockey career. It was a great read and for a guy who covers the NHL and the most promising NHL hopefuls McKenzie comes off as very humble and typical hockey dad.
It is without hesitation that I would highly recommend both Pond Hockey and Hockey Dad: True confessions from a (crazy) Hockey Parent to any parents out there whose children play hockey. If this helps you re-ignite or keep the spark for the love of the game going for your kids I think you’ll find that it is a rewarding experience both for your child and yourself. I have little doubt these two works will make you laugh, inspire and perhaps put things into perspective as you continue hauling the stinky hockey gear from rink to rink and spending your weekends at hockey tournaments all over the place.
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