The doldrums of summer

This past week, I’ve paid a lot more attention to the weather world than I have to sports world. Of course, I am a meteorologist by trade, and there has been wave after wave of strong storms rumbling through the area. Today will be no different, which is good, because Monday’s in August are the place where sports have no meaning.

ITEM ONE: Speaking of having no meaning, why are the Twins even bringing their bats to the plate any more. Let’s just let the other team keep batting. The games will go by a lot faster with the same result. They have won 1 game in their past 7, and in their 1 win, they scored more than they did in their 6 losses combined. It’s been ugly out there. Now, we’re calling up prospects I’ve never even heard of (Tommy Watkins? Wasn’t that the kid that beat me up in grade school?) and making me long for the days of Tony Batista. Yeah. I said it.

ITEM TWO:
I’m guessing this October may be like the last one, in which Minnesota teams managed two wins at the Metrodome. The two other residents, the Gophers and the Vikings, are equally allergic to offense. The Vikings can’t really expect to get two or three defensive touchdowns a game, and their offensive scheme is still a little muddled. They have the wrong quarterback running it, for one thing, and if you are going to have possession receivers like Travis Taylor, then at least make sure your possession receivers can catch. Grinding the ball out would be a wonderful idea if the defense didn’t know that was coming every single play, and if your star rookie running back wasn’t constantly on the verge of a catastrophic injury. The Gophers on the other hand, lost many of their key offensive starters to graduation, and they lost a few quality defenders due to sexual assault charges. This squad is going to be lacking in the talent department, which is too bad, because now Tim Brewster will have a valid excuse when the team goes 2-9.

ITEM THREE: Oh right. Barry Bonds hit his record breaking homerun. Good for him. Maybe I’ll say something about it later, but probably not. I don’t really mind the whole “steroids” thing so much as I mind the “arrogant douche” thing, which is what really makes me indifferent to it all.

ITEM FOUR: Tiger Woods won his 13th Major. I hate him so much. I hate all golfers. Why can’t I do what they do?

Ok, it’s time for this meteorologist to go and baby sit the radar (with an eye to the MLB game tracker, of course)