Did you see that? Do you even have any idea what that is?
That is greatness in action, kiddies. I’m glad you all hung around on this earth long enough to see my most magnificent performance. That’s exactly how I planned it out. I saved my most amazing goal for my 500th to impress the hell out of you and solidify my place in the Hall of Fame. I’m that amazing, kiddies.
Look, I could score goals like that every night if I wanted to. It would just get boring. You would all be like ‘hey JR scored another crazy goal again’ and then your friends would be like ‘who cares he scores ten of those every game’ and nobody would care at all. But who am I kidding, your friends are imaginary anyway.
Let’s all take another minute to bask in that epic glory.
Oh man that was awesome. See you in Toronto. I’m out.
-JR
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