With the season fast approaching already upon us BMR will be rolling out our obligatory season previews division-by-division over the coming week. Today, we’ll be taking a look at the Northwest Division.
Welcome to the Northwest Division Preview Edition of the Creepy Sedin Show! With your hosts, Daniel Sedin, and his twin brother Henrik! Here they are, the Creepy Sedins!
/applause
/13 minutes of dead silence
Daniel: We are here to reveal how the Northwest Division will end on our talk show.Guests will be in the reverse order in which they will finish this year. Vancouver will win.
Henrik: We do not understand the preview concept. If we tell you how the season will end, it will ruin the suspense.
Daniel: Suspeeeeeense.
/3 minutes of silent, unblinking staring at the camera
Henrik: Our first guests are from Edmonton, Dustin Penner and Tom Gilbert.
Penner: Dude, the Sedins are on the beach.
Gilbert: And they’re wearing Dockers! Nerds!
Penner: Haha, yeah! Nerds!
Gilbert: Who goes to the beach wearing Dockers?
Penner: Well, I guess we came to the beach wearing our pads.
/silence
Gilbert: I want to ride the Ferris Wheel
Henrik: Stop it
Daniel: Stop it
Henrik: Stop it
Daniel: Stop it
Henrik: You have been invited out here first because you will be last in our division.
Daniel: I would ask you a question about hockey, but you would not know the answer.
Henrik: Go now.
Daniel: Our next guest is Mikko Koivu from Minnesota.
Koivu: Thank you for having me, though I disagree with your thought that the Wild will finish 4th in the Northwest. We have veteran centers that will be able to feed it to some solid wingers that really started to come along this year, and our —
Daniel: You are blond. You have strong Nordic features. We are most comfortable from you. Henrik is smiling.
Henrik: /
Daniel: What part of Sweden are you from?
Koivu: I’m actually from Finland…
Henrik: YAAAAAARGH! FINLAND! LAND OF EFTERBLIVEN! OUT!
/4 minutes of uncomfotable silence
Henrik: Next is Jarome Iginla of Calgary.
/silence
/Henrik reaches forward, touches Iginlas face with entire hand.
Daniel: Next is Paul Stastny from Colorado
Henrik: Staaaastny
Daniel: Ssssstasssstnyyyyy
Stastny: Hi… um. Are you going to ask me a question, or something?
Sedins: Ssssssssssstttaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssssstnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
And thats all the time we have for this edition of the Creepy Sedins Show! Join us next time with 30 Rock star Jane Krakowski and Wildlife Expert Jack Hannah! Watch Daniel Sedin try to lick a wombat!
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