The Outrage that is All 4 One

First, let me apologize for this decidedly non-sports related post, but this is important.

Back in the mid-90sl, All 4 One was my jam, man. Middle school dances weren’t complete unless I got to dance awkwardly to “I Swear” or “I Can Love you like that”. (Truth be told, the music has changed, the awkwardness has not). As you can note from the name of the group, there are 4 members. Here, take a look at “I Swear”‘s music video:
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFD9lW9PGM4&w=560&h=315]

Look at those jokers running around Fresno (I assume). But, really, wasn’t that just 2 people singing? Why are there 4 people in the group if they have only 2 singers in this R&B singing group?

Well, the Hispanic gentlemen did have a role, if you look at another All 4 One classic, “She’s Got Skillz” which was important because it was more hip-hoppy and introduced the “z” as an edgy form of pluralization. Take a look here, because the embedding is disabled. It’s pretty clear about two things at this point. First, Hispanic Gentleman is the bass singer in this group. He has a purpose. Also, White Guy is completely superfluous. Also, Hispanic Gentleman can dance (and look how happy he seemed!). When everyone else is standing and dancing on the spinning… thing, white guy is made to remain seated. What does he have? Well, he can snap and keep time with the music.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOkMGV5Vrkg&w=420&h=315]

Believe it or not, All 4 One is still together (they were in Malaysia for the new year!) and as recently as 2004 created a new music video. Yes, White Guy was still riding the gravy train, and he looks even more out of place:
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBdZn9aw1Bk&w=420&h=315] Since we last checked in on All 4 One, they became Black Uncle Cracker, David Alan Grier, Gollum and a guy wearing Transitions lenses. A guy wearing Transitions lenses was a member of a legendary R&B Group. Mind boggling. At least he keeps his trademark head tilt. Stick with what you know.

Here is the greatest evidence, though, that White Guy was along for the ride the whole time, take a look at this taping of a morning show in England or Australia or something:
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sc4fy0Y2EdQ&w=560&h=315] Hispanic Gentleman isn’t there to join White Guy in the chorus! But there are still other voices, piped in music when he is the only one on stage singing. They would rather drown out White Guy with background singers than let him sing solo! At least he is able to keep time with the music.

There is a happy ending to this story though. In addition to being able to sway and snap his fingers, we can be assured that White Guy is not mute. Despite all I have said to this point, he does have a solo line in All 4 One’s song library. Go to the 130 mark of the video for I Can Love you Like That:
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcwxeJM0T04&w=420&h=315] There he is. White Guy sings. It’s good to know his entire career wasn’t a sham.