Hit the showers.
When it comes to the game of “Survivor”, there is little to no room for sympathy. The essence of the game, at it’s very core, is ruthless, cutthroat, dog eat dog warfare. That said, I do have to admit that an ever so teeny part of me feels kind of bad for John Rocker.
Now I know what you’re thinking. Yes, I’ve spent the better part of the first few weeks of this column just tarring and feathering John Rocker. Well, that he brought upon himself. The difference is Rocker’s inevitable boot episode was the output of a bad play plus bad breaks equation.
Let’s start at the beginning of the episode.
At the reward challenge, Jeff, with a seemingly innocent question, causally tosses Rocker just enough rope to hang himself. Rocker quickly proceeds to publicly out himself for going behind his alliances back and working with Val. His lack of awareness to this major gameplay gaffe is essentially why Rocker was doomed from the start. All Probst had to do was hand Rocker the metaphorical gun and watch the lumbering dope shoot himself in foot.
Fast forward to the immunity challenge, and we witness another loss for Coyopa. Only this time it’s followed with some post game fireworks. Now, post-challenge trash talk is as close as Survivor gets to an episode of “Jerry Springer”. Usually the dumbest and most ignorant people are the loudest. So naturally this scenario doesn’t bode well for John Rocker.
Here again, we see Rocker put in a position he has little chance of escaping unscathed. Natalie yelling, Dale coming to the defense of Rocker and maintaining tribal unity. Perhaps a more calm and level-headed human might have seized the chance to use Natalie’s outburst against her longterm. Clearly, we know that sort of thinking is far beyond the scope of Rocker’s mental capacity. Ultimately, Rocker retaliated verbally, in the most civilized way he could muster.
“If you were a man, I’d knock your teeth out.”
I will say Rocker’s response yielded the show’s most cringe-worthy moment since Brandon Hantz melted down on Caramoan. So that within itself is an accomplishment.
John Rocker left the game with an idol. He had a couple blowups. He made some laughably bad mistakes. Yet, in the end, as hard as I’ve been on him, he also caught some bad breaks. To his credit, Rocker left the game with class and recognized getting out played.
With an overall cast not quite as compelling as in recent installments, hopefully the elimination of Rocker doesn’t suck the fun out of San Juan del Sur.
WEEKLY PRO TIP
Anytime both tribes are fully present pre-merge and Jeff Probst asks you a question…smile and say how awesome everything is on your side. Then shut up.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Josh – Everyone else seems to be playing checkers. Josh is playing chess.
John Rocker’s “Zero Votes Albert” gameplay grade so far: F
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