If you can’t wait 7 months for the Super Bowl, here’s a sneak peak at this years champion according to Madden…SPOILER ALERT. You, my friend, are a stone wall if a tear does not run down your cheek watching Stafford present Obama a Lions jersey at the White House.
Gus Johnson’s golden pipes amp this apocalyptic event up to 11 . When Gus get’s all somber describing the tribulations Detroit has gone through I made liberal usage of this page to really crank things into insanity mode. I encourage you to experiment, but I strongly recommend going heavy on the “HAHA” then dabbling lightly in the “OHHHHHHH!!!” and then to finish it all off with a “UH AHHH!” which I feel compliments Schwartz handing the Lombardi trophy to Stafford quite well.
Why do Lions fans deserve a Super Bowl championship? Here’s one compelling reason, pee-dogs. The Entertainment Sports Programming Network completed a study which said concessions at Detroit Sports are filthy. Here’s the goods.
Michigan
Comerica Park
Detroit Tigers
Vendors with critical violations: 51%
Inspection report excerpt: When inspectors measured the temperature of some cod at a high-end stadium club, it was 68 degrees — more than 25 degrees warmer than required; inspectors demanded it be discarded.
Ford Field
Detroit Lions
Vendors with critical violations: 70%
Inspection report excerpt: Inspectors cited one location 11 times in the past six years after seeing employees who didn’t wash their hands. At another stand, they found an employee’s half-eaten hamburger in a warming unit.
Detroit Lions
Vendors with critical violations: 70%
Inspection report excerpt: Inspectors cited one location 11 times in the past six years after seeing employees who didn’t wash their hands. At another stand, they found an employee’s half-eaten hamburger in a warming unit.
Joe Louis Arena
Detroit Red Wings
Vendors with critical violations: 52%
Inspection report excerpt: Poisonous or toxic materials were stored atop items used to serve customers, posing a potential risk of contamination. Inspectors also found roaches below a soda dispenser at one location.
Detroit Red Wings
Vendors with critical violations: 52%
Inspection report excerpt: Poisonous or toxic materials were stored atop items used to serve customers, posing a potential risk of contamination. Inspectors also found roaches below a soda dispenser at one location.
The Palace of Auburn Hills
Detroit Pistons
Vendors with critical violations: 31%
Inspection report excerpt: Inspectors found food debris on a countertop slicer, which was a repeat critical violation for this stand.
Detroit Pistons
Vendors with critical violations: 31%
Inspection report excerpt: Inspectors found food debris on a countertop slicer, which was a repeat critical violation for this stand.
30% chance you didn’t just eat a pee-dog watching a team that has won 2 of the last 32 games. Also, according to ESPN Magazine the price of a pee-dog and pop is $11.25 which is the highest in all of professional sports. The Palace with only 30% of critical violations is the best our concessions could mustard. Probably because dippin’ dots are the ice cream of the future and we are not yet able to determine what qualifies as a violation for their alien technology. Also, if you go to Comerica Park and I find out that you have been eating cod…you deserve a healthy bout of the pukes and I will defriend you from my friendster page.
-Do you like beer?(yes!) Do you like running half marathons? (Boo!) Would you like to run a half marathon while drinking a beer every mile? (I’d rather have a pee-dog!) Here’s a guy who did it so we do not have to.http://exercisingwhileintoxicated.wordpress.com/
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