Time for week two of the drinking game, and frankly, if you aren’t chatting with us tonight at 7/6 Central, then I will be sorely disappointed. I like to take a look at the team pages for the squads involved before I commit to any of these well thought out rules, and frankly, the Sabres page reminds me of a college home page. I instinctively panicked when I realized I haven’t signed up for Calc 2 yet. Since I have been made to reflect on my days at Purdue, today’s drink of choice will be lukewarm Keystone Light. It goes down faster if it’s warm.
DRINK
… for every lame “Buffalo” “Wings” pun you see or hear. You know this is why the Sabres game was chosen, right?
… for every year difference in age for the first goal scorers for each team. If say, Tyler Myers, 19, scores for the Sabres, and Niklas “my other car is a Model T” Lidstrom, 39 puts one in for the Wings, that’s 20 drinks. Man up.
… while you try to figure out if it would be cooler if “Sabre” meant Sabre Tooth Tiger instead of an epee. Yes, epee. It will come in handy for your crosswords.
… if the color guy even intimates that a win will be “good for the city of Detroit”. Because there is nothing that would lift the spirits of a disenfranchised city more than an early season victory over a mediocre team.
Drinking Player of the Week: Patrick Kaleta
– Patrick was born in Buffalo, making this his home town team. His mom loves that he lives so close to home, but wishes he would call more.
– When he was in middle school, Patrick had a crush on a girl named Heather. She had pretty hair, good handwriting and was the first person in class to have boobs other than Fat Tommy. Heather was dating Blair, a 9th grader who played hockey with a travelling team. Patrick promised himself that one day he would be so good he would even play for the Sabres. He worked his butt off, first getting on his High School team before going to Ontario to play for Peterborough, where he spent 4 long years. In his second year in Peterborough, he was drafted by the Sabres. His dream was coming true! He continued to work, practicing hard, sleeping with a hockey stick, and lifting weigths whenever he had a spare minute. Finally, in 2006 he made his debut with the Sabres. After a couple years bouncing between Buffalo and Rochester, he spent his first full year in the NHL last season. Last week, he was walking through the Eastern Hills Mall, he ran into Heather, and excitedly told her how he played in the NHL with the Sabres, and how hard he worked and how he did it all for her. Heather said, “Wow, that’s really creepy. Oh, and by the way, I married Fat Tommy.”
– Patrick enjoys tacos.
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