Who would have thought that the Minnesota Wild would be the center of the hockey universe for even a day this season? The most exciting player the Wild have is Brad Bombardir, and he works in the front office. But no, the passive aggressive clapping of one Minnesota fan finally broke Rick Rypien leading to the most violent confrontation ever at the Xcel Energy center. Before that? It went something like this:
Fan 1: Excuse me sir, I believe you are in my seat.
Fan 2: Um, no, pretty sure this is mine.
Fan 1: /exhales deeply. I guess I’ll just have to sit here and be in everybody’s way, since I can’t find my seat.
Fan 2: Jesus Christ. Fine. Have your seat.
fin
So, you combine the little scuffle, the Minnesota guilt trip brigade with the Los Angeles Kings Star Wars meme and, yes, yes you have the foundation for a good drinking game.
DRINK
… if Wayne Simmonds looks unhappy. Twice if you can’t immediately discern why, then realize it’s probably because his teammates are rascists and are forcing him to be Lando.
… every time the Rypien/Wild fan scuffle is referenced. Henrik Zetterberg wouldn’t have even been startled by this fight.
… every time a douchy prep school white boy name is tossed out from the Kings roster. Kyle, Brayden, Jarret, Drew, Davis, or ugh, Colten. They can’t even spell Colton right in the Teubert family.
… thricely if it is mentioned that the Kings employ two Jonathans as netminders. You know, since we’re on the topic of first names.
And your drinking player of the week is…. Anze Kopitar!
Oh come on, like it was going to be any different. He’s the BMR Luke Skywalker! He’s going to blow up the Death Star again! You just wait! But let’s see what the ladies at talk-sports have to say about our Slovene Superstar.
– He doesn’t seem like a cheating bastard, according to one anonymous commenter. What’s with all the anonymity? Stand up and defend such outrageous claims!
– The common consensus was that Anze is sexy. It’s the X-wing flight suits, if I had to guess.
– His is probably the kindest talk-sports forum in the history of talk-sports. It’s filled with stories of how nice and personable he is, and even one heart breaking story of how he signed a jersey for a dying boy, but it got to him too late, but how it still means so much to the family. I’m getting a little choked up.
– The very next comment after that touching story was that he is sexy, then this video.
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