The Versus opening night [drinking] game of the week

It’s that time again! Time for drinkin’! As is my typical wont, it’s going to be a drinking game double header, with a delightful menagerie of rules to encourage ice borne alcoholism. Or as our neighbors to the north call it “Canada”. Hockey starts tomorrow, everyone!

 Philadelphia at Boston

DRINK

… for every pink article of clothing you see. This is, of course, an old standby.

… for every Bruin shown who wasn’t on last season’s cup roster. Sorry Joe Corvo!

…  every time Wayne Simmonds is on the ice. And keep your damn mouth shut.

… through every promo for the next game 

Pittsburgh at Vancouver

DRINK

… if you catch the Sedins performing their assimilation ritual on Marco Sturm. It involves hair tousling, an unfortunate placement of the stick and a lot of tears. 

… if discussion about Sidney Crosby begins to sound like a eulogy

… Molson, because this is the last regular season game a Canadian team gets any air time in the States. So THATS why the Coyotes are still in Phoenix.

… if someone comes up with a really good Alexandre Burrows joke. Seriously, I’ve still got nothin!

The Drinking Player of the night: Jaromir Jagr

So here’s how it goes. You drink every time this player gets mentioned or touches the puck or whatever. I don’t care. Just drink. Now, the best part is when we find out some fun facts about the player, who, as you have seen, is Jaromir Jagr, via his Talk-Sport.net girlfriend page. Gosh I missed his mullet.

– Jaromir and Irina are DONE! He was cheating on her with a model! Irina wasn’t very pretty anyways.

– Jaromir doesn’t really want to get married, just “co-habit”

–  Not a fun fact about Jaromir Jagr, but “a good woman is as precious as rubies”. 

– All of Jagr’s exes were Czech models or Ms. Czech Republics. More mileage than a New York City cab! (Apparently beautiful Czech women are sluts. Excuse me for a moment, I need to check something out in Prague)