Here’s your weekly wrapup, guaranteed to not give you cavities.
It was just one of those weeks in college football… must have been the haints and boogers out in full force, because some interesting doings were afoot.
For instance, the three “marquee games” didn’t live up to the hype; resulting in three blowouts. T. Boone Pickens University couldn’t channel the Black and Orange holiday mojo to overcome Texas, even at home. Looks like Texas will be headed back to Pasadena in January (more on that later). Florida obliterated Georgia in the “Beverage Redacted” bowl; St. Tebow again did the impossible by breaking Herschel Walker’s SEC Touchdown record. Georgia was lucky to be on the field with Tebow, since he was able (as far as we know) to use his super powers to heal Washaun Ealey’s eyes:
I’m certain that the SEC will be looking into Mr. Spike’s actions, although with the level of respectability that their conference’s officiating program has developed, you can’t be too certain. To be honest, if Urban Meyer is the coach that they say he is, he shouldn’t wait for the conference to make a decision.
In the other “big game of the week”, we sent a correspondent to Autzen for the sole purpose of seeing which of the stupid uniform combinations the Ducks would come up with. Little did we know that he’d get to watch a dismantling of U$C, who gave up the most offense in the Pete Carroll era.
There will be tons of debate about the Oregon/Boise State rankings- should the Ducks, who undefeated against better competition, jump the Broncos team that beat them in week one. I would vote “yes”, but we’ll get into that a bit more in a minute.
Our “This week in Schadenfreude” moment comes from Champaign, where the Fumbling Zooks got their first victory against a Division 1 opponent. That team? Mich1gAAn. Ah, the sweetness. But, Wolverine fans, it could be worse- Your punt return unit could look like this:
Come to think of it, there are blue/yellow winged helmets involved…
The whole weekend started off strangely, with another ACC BCS team dropping a game to an unranked foe as North Carolina defeated Virginia Tech. Iowa continued whatever “black magic” they’ve got going, coming back from a 21-7 halftime deficit to manhandle Indiana at home. Hoosier fans- Basketball season is coming… oh, wait.
Ohio State handled their warmup game, and covered a 44.5 point spread. This season, Ohio State has three games with over 500 yards of offense… but what’s next is more important. You really can’t blame the Aggies of NMSU for scheduling this game- given the economy and the fact that only 25 NCAA programs were in the black last year, a man’s got to do what he’s got to do.
Notre Ame had a similar scrimmage/game, paying out the Wazoo to have the Cougs play a game in Texas. Yawn… I’m still pulling for them to be BCS elligible and return to the greatness of losing bowl games against teams not named “Hawaii”. Auburn proved how “aw350m3” the SEC is, upsetting #25 Old Miss. Miami squeaked by Wake Forrest, and aTm won their second straight game.
Mike Leach’s guys were able to look past their fat little girlfriends and beat a team coached by a… uh… well… “fluffy” gentleman. State Penn handled Northwestern, TCU continued to cruise, and Kentucky faithful are also ready for some roundball. Georgia Tech optioned all over Vanderbilt while LSU won the battle of New Orleans (oooh! All the etouffee you can eat!).
Looking to the end of the year, the Trojan’s loss still doesn’t change much in terms of what I’d like to see during BC$ week; if it were up to me Texas and Florida would still play for the shiny ball, Oregon and Iowa would be a good Rose Bowl match up (although I know Iowa’s losing in two weeks and think that the Ducks would beat them like a rented mule), Let Cincinnati and whoever comes out of the clowncar that is the ACC play in the Orange Bowl (thems some guaranteed great ratings!), have Alabama embarrass Notre Ame in the Sugar Bowl, and showcase TCU and Boise State in the Fiesta (no conference affiliations required). Did I leave anyone out?
Play one game at a time, etc… but with U$C out of the Rose Bowl picture, tickets will be a lot easier to get come January 1. This is doubly true since the “grandaddy” will be a warm up game for the MNCG on the 8th. So- feel free to put hotel reservations on your list to Santa, and prepare to come out and enjoy the ridiculous flowery wagons. Even if the Bucks end up somewhere’s else- Pasadena is better than certain parts of Cleveland.
Big games coming up this week: Ohio State begins the “murders row” of it’s schedule as it travels to “Crappy Valley” for a huge game against the Lions. A friendly reminder from the Ohio State Travelers Board- Be prepared for a unique welcome:
Mich1gAAn plays Purdue and looks to get off the schnide. The big question for this game will be whether or not Mark Ortmann will be suspended for the game. Given Rich Rod’s passion for video review, I’m sure he’s already sent this tape up to the Big T1e1n offices. Just like Urban has already benched Brandon Spikes.
LSU goes to Alabama in a big SEC West conference matchup. Oklahoma returns to Lincoln for another historic match up of two Big Eight powers. Florida hosts Vandy, U$C travels to Sun Devil Stadium, while Auburn writes a big check to Furman. UK has a bye against Eastern Kentucky, and Illinois hopes to continue it’s winning ways as it meets up with a resurgent Minnesota.
No better way to close out Halloween weekend than with a visit from drunk Ewoks:
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