There, I Said It: ‘Roid Rage Edition

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Remember when Albert Pujols came back from his broken wrist like woah? I wrote that down in my Albert Is My Hero diary, put it under my pillow, and had a really good sleep last night. But the Internet is awash with those people who insist on whispering nasty rumors about how Albert’s bones could possibly be knitting themselves back together so quickly. Their suggestions: HGH and anabolic steroids. Per the state of my Twitter feed, the Best Fans in Baseball™ are not amused.

He’s just a fast healer, you know.

Thing is, we don’t know. We don’t know much about his medical care. We certainly don’t know what goes on in training rooms, or what’s in syringes administered in the Cardinals clubhouse. Thing is, Albert might be on performance-enhancing drugs just as any player might.

There, I said it.

Full disclosure: I don’t think he is. He wasn’t listed in the Mitchell Report with the other superstars of his generation. He tests clean. I’ve never read a damning case.

Fuller disclosure: I don’t want to think he is. I want to believe a sweet mashing machine can exist in nature. Most of us don’t want to believe he uses. That doesn’t make us good judges, even when the evidence is there. Why didn’t someone successfully out Mark McGwire long before he refused to implicate himself? Why hasn’t someone successfully uncovered the mess in the NFL? Did we really want to know then? Would we now?

Fullest disclosure: I don’t care if he is. I just can’t work up a frothy moral outrage over PEDs. There have always been players who cheat for an edge and there always will. The means might be increasingly test-tubular, but the steroid era did not introduce drugs to the game — it just brought more effective drugs. I understand why the league needs rules against it: reduce liability, create a safe ballin’ environment, set an example for the kids. But I don’t understand those fans who are chest-beating about the good old days. What good old days?

Long story longer, all of us have to acknowledge that we simply don’t know whether Albert uses. What we have instead of proof is something tenuous but powerful: unshakable faith in the mang.

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