They’re really gone

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A few of the playoff series are now getting to their second game right now. Someone should tell the Wild, who don’t seem to have received the message. You know who could tell them that? The Sedins. They aren’t in the playoffs. They aren’t even in North American hockey anymore. Yes, those two goofy gallons of nightmare fuel have decided to return from whence they came. Turns out that’s Sweden, not the carcass of a beached whale, as I had assumed.

So maybe these two weirdos weren’t all that strange after all, just a bunch of eccentric Swedes that looked exactly alike. You know, like Swedes do. Sure, you can think that’t the case all you want, but then how do you explain the fact that my wife is pregnant with twins, who are going to be coming into the world within the next couple of months.

You try to tell me that my BMR archnemeses are leaving in tandem (as they have done everything in their lives), only for me to have twins a few short weeks later, and tell me there isn’t some sort of sorcery involved. I’m on to you, Sedins. And I’m terrified.

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