things you don’t see everyday

So a couple weeks ago I come home from work, a little groggy from sitting behind a desk all day. Check the mail, and go through my normal ritual when I get home. As I opened my back door to let my dog out (Bailey) I see this woman popping a squat in my back yard. As Bailey is going crazy, I yell “what are you doing” and this starts a conversation with the crazy peeing lady.

Lady: I had to pee

Me: IN my back yard

Lady: My plumbing went out and the plumber is in my bathroom

Me: you could drive up the street to the gas station

Lady: You know how nasty those gas station bathrooms are

Me: Better then my backyard

Bailey: Bark, Bark

Me: shut up bailey

Lady is done, pulls up her pants and climbs over my fence

Lady: You need to get this fence fixed

Me: What happened to my fence?

Lady: oh it gave way when I was climbing over it

Me: You have got to be kidding

Me: thanks for stopping by to piss in my yard, have a good day

I have slowly learned not to take the easy way out; I should have decided to buy a house in the suburbs instead of living in the ghetto near downtown. Although I can’t complain about the 3 minute drive to work everyday, or the money I save on gas each day.

Arrow to top