Wow, what a week folks, huh? You know those before and after shots of how much presidents age during their terms? I feel like just about every Coug fan has some pretty dramatic before and after changes from just a week and a half ago. Since heralding the long-awaited return of good football to the Palouse after our moral blowout of Stanford, we have endured the Utah meltdown, our most prolific receiver ever quitting the team and leaving some pretty serious and potentially libelous allegations in his wake, and then the mother of all emotional rollercoaster rides during the UCLA game. So where do we stand? It appears that the team made an emphatic statement on Saturday night that coach Leach has not “lost” this team. They fought hard, and despite a special teams disaster the likes of which I have never seen, coupled with the loss of their starting QB and a HUGE halftime deficit, they were on-side kicking down one score as the game wound down. It was both bizarre and inspirational.
Still, it was a loss and a loss marred by so many cartoonish mistakes and breakdowns that it doesn’t quite give me confidence of anything heading into the final two games other than we will see effort. So how do we weary fans continue on this crazy train? I have just the thing after the jump.
Ladies and gentlemen, when all else fails, it’s time to play BINGO. BINGO isn’t just for old people. There are all kinds of things besides ageing that we must do in life that aren’t necessarily fun and BINGO is there to help us cope. For example, as you hit your mid-30’s you will have been to so many weddings you can’t remember them all and at best, less than half of them were any fun. For the rest, there is wedding BINGO:
|
|
B |
I |
N |
G |
O |
|
1 |
Bad Bridesmaid Dresses |
Steak, Chicken, or Fish |
Drunk Groomsman |
Bride is Late |
Macarena |
|
2 |
Dry Cake |
Bouquet Toss Pile-up/Wipeout |
Cake in the Face |
Drunk Toast |
Flower Girl Tantrum |
|
3 |
Drunk Mother of Bride |
Crying Baby During Ceremony |
FREE |
Crying Bridesmaid |
Tiny Quiche |
|
4 |
Inappropriate Dirty Dancing |
Jordan Almonds |
Ducking the Garter Toss |
Drunk Bridesmaid |
Bridal Gown Mis-hap |
|
5 |
Barfing Groomsman |
Air Guitar on the Dance Floor |
Crying Bride |
Awkward Toast |
Conga Line |
As young professionals, you are also starting to grow weary of the dreaded work meeting. These things can drag on interminably while you are itching to get back to your office and hit refresh on Cougfan to see what shoe has dropped now. For these moments there is Buzzword BINGO:
|
|
B |
I |
N |
G |
O |
|
1 |
Synergy |
Outside the Box |
Best Practice |
Scope Creep |
Deliverables |
|
2 |
Goal Oriented |
Silos |
Core Competency |
Low Hanging Fruit |
Real World Solutions |
|
3 |
Teamwork |
Efficiencies |
FREE |
Logistics |
Results Oriented |
|
4 |
Outcomes |
Leverage |
Holistic |
Stakeholder |
Up the Ladder |
|
5 |
Shout-out |
Win Win |
Streamline |
Bandwidth |
Customer-Centric |
And finally, for those of us suffering faithfully through what we pray will be the last season of terrible football on the Palouse for the foreseeable future, I give you Bad Cougar Football BINGO:
|
|
B |
I |
N |
G |
O |
|
1 |
Fumble |
Bad Snap |
Fumbled Kick Return |
Good Call Reviewed and Reversed |
Escorted out by Security |
|
2 |
Delay of Game |
Blocked Field Goal |
Interception |
Dropped Pass |
Failed 4th Down Conversion |
|
3 |
CMB Plays “Turn the Beat Around” |
Score Taken Away for Penalty |
FREE |
Ran out of Booze |
Trick Play Loses Yards |
|
4 |
Student Section Throws Objects on Field |
Injured Starter |
Injured Cheerleader |
Text from Husky Fan, Rubbing it in |
Blocked Punt |
|
5 |
Pick Six |
Personal Foul |
Bad Call Reviewed and Upheld |
Dropped Mitten in Puddle of Piss in Restroom |
Dropped Touchdown Pass |
I hope this helps you get through our next few moral victories, like a bridge over troubled water.
Hang in there, and GO COUGS!
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