Top 5: Teams I Can’t Stand

Fresh off the St. Louis Cardinals rolling into Cincinnati and sweeping the Reds, it made me think about the teams that I can’t stand. Mainly, because the Cardinals are now one of those teams. I know the Reds are only 1 game back, but it sure as hell feels like more if you watched any of the games. But, Reds fans, it’s only 3 games. It’s just a 1 game deficit. Besides, we are going to find out what this team is made of after the west coast swing. Anyway, the list is in no certain order. Although, #1 is the team I can’t stand the most.

1. Pittsburgh Steelers – The terrible towels, Troy Palomalu’s hair (unlike the names of the Louisville players I misspelled and later corrected, I don’t care if Troy’s name is spelled right. Go make more Pert Plus commercials.) Rapelisberger, the “Steeler Way”, the uncalled for cheap shot on Carson Palmer’s knee, Kordell Stewart, and making Neil O’Donnell seem like he was good just so the Bengals would sign him are all reasons I thought of to hate the Steelers in 2 minutes. Let’s not forget their Super Bowl win against Seattle, in which the refs handed the game. How could I forget Hines Ward? At least the Steelers crash painfully in the playoffs, or they use to. Because last year they came in third place and weren’t even close.

2. St. Louis Cardinals – This near hatred of St. Louis only came into play this season. In the playoffs, I normally root for the Cardinals, just for NL Central pride. But now that they are battling with the Reds for the division lead, I can’t stand them. Molina sucks. Carpenter is a diva. Ryan Franklin has stupid facial hair. Skip Schumaker and Colby Rasmus have dumb names. I can’t stand John Jay at all. His batting stance is stupid and so is his dumb face. And LaRussa is an asshole. Fuck him for not admitting McGwire and Canseco and half the late 80s A’s were on the roids.

3. Oakland Raiders – I was just thinking of NFL teams that I didn’t like to fill up this list, and the Raiders popped in my head. The only time I ever liked the Raiders was, of course, in Tecmo Super Bowl. And that was only because of the god known as Bo Jackson. I don’t like watching the Raiders play, and not just because they suck. I didn’t like them when they were good. I don’t like them now that they are bad. Al Davis has a zombie face that haunts my dreams after seeing the 30 for 30 about the Raiders. I’m going to drop a bomb here, don’t care for the Raider logo. I do like the uniforms, at least the home version. I have no reason for disliking the Raiders, other than I just do.

4. Duke Blue Devils – The only reason one watches a Duke game is to root for the other team. One of my favorite sports memories was being in Rupp Arena when Indiana came back to beat Duke in the NCAA tournament. The list of Duke players that are not likable is long, Maggette, Paulus, Williams, Battier, Duhon, Langdon, Laettner, crying guy after the Laettner shot against UK, Brand, Cherokee Parks, Redick, Wojo, and there are so many I can’t think anymore. It’s like they are flooding my mind. I go back and forth on thinking Coach K is an asshole or a good guy, but right now it’s the offseason, so I lean towards good guy.

5. Thom Brennaman and Jeff Brantley – BAM surprise entry. I could have thrown in Michigan, North Carolina, Rutgers for irrational reasons, the Ravens, Patriots, Red Sox, Yankees, Mets, but no. I have to throw Brantley and Thom on the list. I’ve bitched about them before, and now you get it yet again. They didn’t call the Reds/Cardinals series, and we the public were better for it. The dude who calls Ohio State games and Chris Welsh did a pretty good job the past 3 days. Thom was nowhere to be seen, and that was a good thing. He gets on my nerves so god damn much it’s hard to explain. It is mainly because of his air of “I know more about baseball than you ever could, and more than half the players, so let me be a fucking asshole about it.” It’s so god damn annoying. Brantley calls one of every like 5 series, but he’s always paired with Thom, and he always is a bumbling jackass. I don’t listen to the radio, so I can’t say if he’s good there, but I’m pretty sure he’s not. Unless he’s talking about eating barbecue. In that case, he’s Vin Scully. I hope that Fox Sports Ohio realizes that they suck together and pull them apart this offseason. You are already kicking us in the stomach every time Thom gets douchey, don’t add in a kick to the balls with Jeff Brantley. Thank you very much.

That’s it, that’s the list. I’ll bust out another Big East preview for Friday. I haven’t picked a team for it yet, so send in your suggestions to me in the comments, or on twitter. You can find me @ucbearcatsblog. I should probably link that, but there is a thing on the side of the page. Have a great Thursday everybody.