1) PAC-10 Officials – So I’m sure many of you have seen it already, but they are calling it the “Miracle at Montlake”. Gross. You know the drill, but AZ is leading 33-28, and with a couple of minutes left in the game, the Mildcats have the football. QB goes back to pass, throws it at the feet of the receiver in the flat, ball hits his heel and pops up into the air, UW linebacker grabs it and races into the endzone. Ballgame. But wait, the replay officials take a long, hard look at it, and determines that….it’s a touchdown? Really?
That gold thing around the 1-yard line in the picture is the running back’s knee, clearly laying down on the grass. The foot of #6, Desmond Trufant, that is the goal line. Does that really look like he got in?
The PAC-10 refs were calling the Notre Dame game, although there was a Big East replay official in the booth. But it was a pure PAC-10 crew (read: stupidity) in the UW-AZ game. But man, talk about a pair of lousy calls or what? They even gave WSU a sideline penalty on the first play of the game last week? I was at that game and have absolutely no idea what happened, other than a coach chewed out his own player as he was coming off the field. Don’t they usually issue a warning in something like that first? That was one of 16 penalties in that WSU-ASU game. Someone did a study last year I believe that showed how the PAC-10 is the most penalized conference in the BCS. Why? I thought the PAC-10 was supposed to be this soft, frat-guys-throwing-the-nerf-in-the-circular type of league, not a bunch of thugs assaulting people every play? Ugh.
And this is just a couple of examples in the last few weeks, but there are so many more that have been awful we can’t even list them out here. Being a ref isn’t easy, I’m sure, and the PAC-10 refs have been accused of throwing the flag for what appears to be virtually nothing. Just listen to Jim Walden’s “Awwwwww!” every week, and you’ll get the straight poop from a salty old veteran who gets driven CRAZY by these guys. But ask yourself, why do we have replay anyway? Ummm, to get the calls right? They talk about the need for “indisputable evidence” to overturn a call or whatever, but you have to wonder what the hell they are actually looking at up there? I’m a know-nothing blogger, but even I can see with my own two eyes on both of these crucial, game-turning calls that they didn’t get these right. And for that, PAC-10 refs, you get two Simple Jacks…..
There’s more, you know, after the read more thing….
2) SONICS OWNERSHIP AND SEATTLE POLITICIANS
I guess that was the biggest thing for me to take from that documentary, in that of all the BS over the whole situation, that is the one huge void that won’t be filled. For as you know, it rains a lot out here in the winter, and as Jamal Crawford says in the documentary, there isn’t a hell of a lot to do in the winter in the northwest other than play hoops indoors! Anyway, give it a watch. It’s really good work, and a big-time reminder that something that once was pretty great up here in the corner of the country was ripped away by many villians. And for that, Sonics owners past and present, plus the dufus outgoing Mayor Nichols and the local politicians who either put their foot in their mouth or hid under their desks until it all blew over, we give you THREE Simple Jack’s!
3) SCREECH
So washed out failure Dustin Diamond, aka Screech from “Saved by the Bell” fame, has decided that after years of going absolutely nowhere, it was time for a tell-all book from that wonderful 90’s teen sitcom. You know, because the public was dying to know all the dirt behind the cameras, right?
This from the guy who does a failing standup comedy act described as “brutal” by several critics, on the road 47 weeks a year. This from a guy who went on Celebrity Fit Club and pissed off the huge monster trainer with his terrible, whiny, lazy act. This from a guy who asked the public to “help save Screech’s house” by selling t-shirts, and then reportedly the whole thing was a bit of a scam. This from a guy who made an adult video, only to later claim it was “stolen” from him and never should have gotten out to the public….but he’ll gladly sell it now that it’s out there. Uh-huh.
Anyway, the book is now out there, and Dustin is making the press rounds. Among the amazing secrets he spills? Let’s see, Tiffany Amber-Thiessen was sleeping with multiple guys at once, Mario Lopez nailed anything with two legs, Mark Paul Gosselaar was sleeping with Tiffany Amber-Thiessen and the other chick, the one who was the stripper in that Show Girls movie? Anyway, wow, breaking news or what!?! Mario Lopez nailed anything with two legs? You mean the same guy who cheated on Ali Landry, on THEIR HONEYMOON, in a marriage that lasted all of TWO WEEKS? Shocking.
Does anyone really care about any of this? Are we really surprised that young, vibrant, good-looking actors were having sex? Just another sad attempt by a showbiz kid who never grew up, and now is playing the angry nerd to a T by ripping all the cool, more popular kids on the set. But you know why he’s really doing this? Because nobody was showing up at the set saying “I SO want to get with Screech!” A lot of repressed anger and jealousy all bubbling to the forefront. So for that, Screech, we hand you FOUR Simple Jack’s.
Finally, 4) MILEY CYRUS.
You know, Miley Cyrus? Aka Hannah Montana? The pure, sweet, Disney creation who recently hit her 16th birthday? Well, maybe not so sweet and innocent. Did you all see the pole-dancing video?
OK, here’s the deal. Party in the USA? I like it. I really do. It’s a catchy, pop tune. I shouldn’t admit that, I really shouldn’t. But I do. No, I won’t put it on my iPod, but it’s the #3 song in the country for a reason……but that’s beside the point. 16 years old?!! WTF? Baby’s all growed up I guess. At least Kip Winger waited until they were at least 17?? Nice parenting there Billy Ray.
Look, I know these are different times. Kids are doing stuff younger and younger, and that trend doesn’t appear to be changing anytime soon. Hollywood really can screw kids up too, so you wonder about the people around a young talent like this. And everyone used to be up in arms of Britney Spears when she exploded onto the scene with “Baby One More Time”, parading around in the school girl outfit, etc. So this really isn’t anything new. Except Britney was at least 17 when she started to sex it up! Again, 16!? Really!?!
For that, we’ll go with a whopping FIVE SIMPLE JACK’S, not just for the 16-year old all grown up, but for the lack of parental guidance from papa Cyrus!
That’s it for now. Again, hey, it’s the bye week. What do you want, a deep analysis of the Cougar football program? That will come in time, but not today. ENJOY YOUR TUESDAY, and GO COUGS!
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