TWEETCAP REBOOT: Pens Get Swept Edition

Screen Shot 2019-04-16 at 10.29.15 PM

If there was ever a time to bring back Rich’s old TweetCap for one night and one night only, the most fitting time would have to be in the form of the Penguins getting swept in the first round to the goddamn Islanders.

And, folks, are we in for a ride.  Let’s go.

https://twitter.com/mport56/status/1118168291854438401

https://twitter.com/atrichmiller/status/1118204344715894785

They didn’t.  But it is truckmonth.  Important perspective to maintain.

Pregame

Galaxy brain shit kicking us off coming out of Long Island. This Greg guy should stick to being a “broadcaster on lacrosse talk radio.”

Whatever the fuck that means.

https://twitter.com/garysanchezjr/status/1118136159614504962

In the end, Gretz had this all pegged during warmups.  We didn’t listen.  We.  Didn’t.  Listen.

Also Dan had this pegged before Game 1.  Again, listening is something none of us did.

https://twitter.com/Jedidiah412/status/1118293619662888960

https://twitter.com/thee_best_smart/status/1118295745680027649

The music told the story.  Music: Actually bad now.

First Period

https://twitter.com/mport56/status/1118296244546359296

Puck drop.  Game on.

Took just 35 seconds.  Guentzel, baby.  1-0 Pens.

https://twitter.com/matt_taylor66/status/1118298697731846144?s=12

Narrator: He didn’t.

It would take just 1:34 lmao.

And, of course, it was Letang that made the mistake to set it up.  DJ, heat up them takes.

Heat: Brought.

Impossible to say, but the Pens would get a powerplay not long later at least, right?

https://twitter.com/G_Off817/status/1118305431783395329

Wrong.  It would go as expected.  See also: Meesh’s tweet.

https://twitter.com/molinaripg/status/1118305926065340417?s=21

https://twitter.com/aceofcrame/status/1118306566715973632?s=21

https://twitter.com/z23smitty/status/1118306814054084608?s=21

https://twitter.com/G_Off817/status/1118307514494476293

2-1 Islanders.

Second Period

By the time that shot made it 2-1, you knew the Pens weren’t scoring again.

https://twitter.com/bioshocklgp/status/1118311562392023040?s=21

https://twitter.com/rheasripieys/status/1118312866443087874?s=21

Trade Jack Johnson to open up the cap space to sign our hunk friend.  Who says no?  We don’t and NEITHER SHOULD YOU.

We wouldn’t invite him to fill for our teams.

Pens would end up back on the powerplay with a chance to tie it up.  Again, it’d go as expected.

https://twitter.com/G_Off817/status/1118316804177301505

https://twitter.com/molinaripg/status/1118316100377350144?s=21

After the kill, Psychopath Playoff Patric Hornqvist showed up to try to do an actual murder kill.

https://twitter.com/G_Off817/status/1118317735392493568

The troop’s would of never let this series end up like this.

https://twitter.com/z23smitty/status/1118319487227396096?s=21

They just would of never let this happen either.

https://twitter.com/G_Off817/status/1118320215648026632

Or this.

Oh, and it’s not like the Islanders weren’t playing with a short bench or anything.  Remember this, it’s important when they lose 3-1.

https://twitter.com/amc424/status/1118322164581765121

https://twitter.com/bmf919/status/1118325777584590848

Spoiler Alert: it’d be October.

Fantastic.

Third Period

Game wasn’t even over yet before Bucci brought some brain genius silky sauce buckets mitts to the table.

Fortunately, the timing worked out that we could all tune into the cleanup job in Columbus.

https://twitter.com/amc424/status/1118326870263697416

Back to Penguins.

https://twitter.com/Coutsey/status/1118327016602759173

https://twitter.com/bmf919/status/1118327222035722241

Shit shit no we fucked up take us back.  Do not like.

Okay good that’s better.

Back to the Pens…

Goddamnit.  Can we go back to Columbus?  The cannon is better than this.

This would’ve been fitting.

Couldn’t have hurt, right?  Take the head off the rat and it can’t trap anymore.  That’s a normal saying that human people say out loud.

What the hell is this city.

https://twitter.com/thee_best_smart/status/1118331789628592128

Six minutes left in the season…

https://twitter.com/Rick_City/status/1118331940661288960

Evergreen Jesse.

https://twitter.com/G_Off817/status/1118333418520162304

https://twitter.com/amc424/status/1118333494596440064

https://twitter.com/dwancherry/status/1118332648118784000

Yes.

https://twitter.com/dwancherry/status/1118334624416043008

Glass half full mode.

Goalie pulled.  Extra skater on:

https://twitter.com/avolosk/status/1118334951152340999

https://twitter.com/G_Off817/status/1118335084787064832

Pens really needed the Troops to counter this.  Shameful that they didn’t think of them.

Series.

Post Game thoughts

Let it all out, fam.

https://twitter.com/IanAltenbaugh/status/1118331934336270336

https://twitter.com/Rick_City/status/1118335332615897088

https://twitter.com/dameofscones/status/1118335940290908162

Underrated part of this all.  It’s refreshing.  Don’t @ us.

Bring the booze, though.

And, perhaps the most important thing…

Mario, guide us.

https://twitter.com/G_Off817/status/1118336130771030017

Welp.  Okay then. Take us away, Amy.

Deuces.

Arrow to top