Twins Sign Joel Zumaya, earth’s axis tilts

After a chilly early season schedule last year, the Twins decided they needed to find heftier players, ones that would be able to easily endure the chilly weather. This obviously explains why Matt Capps has been retained as a closer. Yesterday, the Twins added oft injured Joel Zumaya to the fold. (Good decision, by the way. If any team can patch him up, it’s the Twins training staff) Below is a picture of Zumaya.

Twins Sign Joel Zumaya, earth's axis tilts
Zumaya is listed at 6’3, 215lbs. I am listed at 6’2 1/2, 208lbs. There’s no way he outweighs me by a mere 7 pounds, unless it’s 7 pounds of LIES. 
Anyways, good, low risk move. If he comes back healthy, dominant. If not, it’s not like the bullpen is worse.
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