Unhealthy Options

So let’s review:

On July 18th, Mets fans throw carrots at Logan Morrison. Morrison thanks Mets fans for their efforts in improving his eyesight.

Fast forward six days, during the eighth inning of a game in which the Mets held a 4-3 lead, Morrison sees Bobby Parnell’s pitch perfectly and jacks it over the center field wall. So as Mets fans, we need to ask ourselves the tough questions, like: Instead of blaming Bobby Parnell, could Sunday’s 5-4 loss have been our fault? Could we, as fans, have thought of a less healthy option to throw toward opposing ballplayers? For example, french fries … or raw meat? Carrots might have made a fraction of an inch difference for Morrison. Maybe a thick juicy triple cheeseburger with slabs of bacon and pastrami might have made the difference of a fraction of an inch the other way?

Or maybe there’s other vices that Mets fans can throw over the left field wall to hurt an opponent’s performance. What about groupies? Hell, somebody could throw one of Tiger Woods’ partners over the wall to distract young Logan. Now that might work … how would you react playing left field and you saw Rachel Uchitel tumbling over the left field wall? Besides the fact that it’s a high wall and she could get hurt, your mind would go to bad places, wouldn’t it? That can’t be good for you. I’m just saying as Mets fans, we can make better choices to help our team. If our team can’t make the simple choice regarding what pitch to throw in what situation, then we as fans need to be able to do our part to help the team.

Or, we could just go for the obvious and blame Bobby Parnell. Yeah, that would probably be more practical (and less insane). I guess this is either one of those instances of growing pains, or it’s an instance of “hey, this is going to happen once in a while with a young setup guy who has eyes toward being a closer with a 100 mph fastball and an improving slider”. Doesn’t make me want to plank in traffic any less, but that’s reality. Terrible waste of another good comeback game by David Wright who smacked a go-ahead two run bomb in the seventh. Also wasted was an actual, living and breathing, Jason Bay hit and run batted in. Life … so precious … snuffed out in an instant.

And now the Mets go to Cincinnati on the “Carlos Beltran Farewell Tour”. The Reds have the same 50-51 record as the Mets, but they’re in a pennant hunt, and the Mets are unloading Carlos Beltran. Makes you think that if the Mets were in the N.L. Central … well, the drive to the beach would be a lot longer.