Vikings Cheerleaders GET TO DA CHOPPA!!!

Training camp is in full swing, with several practices and scrimmages already occurring to everyone’s delight. But it’s not just the players who are getting prepped for the season. No way, the Minnesota Vikings Cheerleaders are at it too. And if you think that their preparations for the season are as simple as learning which leg to kick when, and how fast to twirl around and stuff, THEN THINK AGAIN YOU SEXIST PIG. Because preparing to be a Minnesota Vikings cheerleader every year includes A LOT more. Like learning how to jump out of a helicopter.

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God dammit news station … When you say “A group of Vikings Cheerleaders litterally descended from out of the sky”, you need to clarify a little bit what you mean. Descending? Did you mean descending like slowly on a gym rope, burning your inner thighs?

Or did you mean descending like dropping at a rapid pace, like if they had American flag parachutes strapped to their back, and gas masks that they were wearing because they were dropping into a war zone engulfed in chemical warfare and the Minnesota Vikings Cheerleaders were the ONLY group left in American who could get behind enemy lines in a clandestine mission of reconnaissance and rescue of prisoners of war only to find out that one of the prisoners is their long lost father who has been keeping a valuable secret away from both his captors and his own family; he’s not really a spy for the CIA, but an extra-terrestrial being sent to Earth to record human activity, and the selfless act of putting herself in danger to rescue a thought of stranger means this alien-father-being is going to grant the Vikings Cheerleaders untold powers that will raise the skills, talents, and abilities of every Vikings player on the team to help them win the Super Bowl this year?

Because if you meant that, and all we’re seeing instead if a helicopter slowly settling on a golf course as Cheerleaders casually stepped out of it … Well, that would be false advertising, news station, even if this was all for a good cause.