Vikings Fans: “Favre I Hate Your Black Soul”

Reports surfaced again late Sunday afternoon that said retired quarterback Brett Favre had quietly had surgery on the torn tendon in his shoulder. The surgery has been described as minor, and now that the tendon has been completely severed it is free to heal entirely on its own. Time tables say that within four weeks he could be throwing the ball normally again.

I've never wanted to punch a kid in the face as much as I do right now.
I've never wanted to punch a kid in the face as much as I do right now.

Conveniently, Favre’s new time frame for what can only appear as a come back would allow him to miss out on the majority of the off season workouts with the Vikings. Coach Childress apparently has had enough of Favre’s waffling and, despite his best efforts not to acknowledge the Favre possibility, has now set a deadline for a decision. Even if it’s not met, the rumors will still  persist. Players are still talking about it, like Visanthe Shiancoe, and the media still is having a circle jerk over the idea of Favre returning.

And while a poll was recently conducted asking Viking fans if any of them even really wanted Favre to come play for their team, and there was a deafening no for a response, the media and most everyone else involved seems to have pretty much neglected their opinions. Well, PJD isn’t a major media asshole (Someone would have to actually read us, first), so we went to the people to hear their voice on the matter, and the feeling on Brett Favre as a Viking were almost as jarring as Packer fan reactions …

 

Urge for domestic violence ... rising ...
Urge for domestic violence ... rising ...

 

Tom in Apple Valley – Favre is still talkin’ about comin’ to the Vikings? God Damnit! What will it take to end this butt fuckin’ guess work? No one wants him here, that stinkin’ cheese eatin’ fart hole! He’s a Puke Tard and he always will be! He’s never done nothing good for anyone. People who think he took that Green Bay team to the Super Bowl are idiots. Reggie White was the decidin’ factor for that team, even though he was probably a coke head. Favre’s a washed up, grey haired, pain pill poppin’ life wrecker, and for as many time as he’s ruined my Sunday afternoons by tossin’ a touchdown in the Metrodome as a Fudge Packer, I will not stand for him ruinin’ Sundays again for me by tossin’ interceptions as a Vike. I promise you this, if Favre signs with the Vikings, my wife will never know the end of my wrath. I will beat her blind, I’ll be so overwhelmed with rage. That is my guarantee to you.

 

Fran in Atlanta, GA – Jesus Christ, here we go again. Listen, I’ve already sounded off on what I think about that old windbag glory hole … er, glory seeker. He needs to forget about it and buy a little quiet motel oasis in Mississippi. If he forgoes playing this year and does that, I’ll personally go and meet up with him and congratulate him on a stellar career. Then I’ll suck on his tongue a little bit. And then ask if I may hand wash his Wranglers, because they’ve probably gotten pretty dirty working in the fields. And then he’ll see why it’s such a good decision not to play football this season. You know, now that I think of it … maybe he just had that surgery so his arm can be more flexible … Hhhmm …

This meth high isn't helping ...
This meth high isn't helping ...

Adam in Cottage Grove – You son of a bitch Favre, you just think you can have your cake and eat it, don’t you? You think because you’ve had it so fucking hard in life that you can just take, take, and take, huh? Oh, your dad died, so you decide to go play football still and have the game of your life that Peter King still jerks off to. Great. Oh, oh, your smoking hot wife gets measly breast cancer, beats it handily, and you go on and on about how you’ve had to overcome such struggles. I bet her medical bill didn’t even tap into .02% of your total wealth you money grubbing fuck. And, let’s not forget, you become such a victim when you find out that you’re addicted to pain killers but you’re able to kick the habit and still toss the football around in the mud with the boys on your off days. You make me fucking sick. Guess what, my dad is dead too. I killed him because he was molesting my children. My wife had cancer as well, pancreatic cancer. We didn’t have the medical coverage to get her the help she needed, and now I’m raising four children by myself. And you know what? That’s really hard to do when you’ve got a raging meth addiction that leaves you seeing ghosts in the night. So fuck you Favre. No one feels sorry for you. Stay in your southern shithole farm and let the rest of us be vicariously miserable through our own team without you fucking them up.

 

Baker in Minneapolis – What? Are you shitting me? Brett Favre wants to come to my city and play on my team? Fuck that noise. Who do you think you are, pole smoker? Who says your anal fissured ass gets to bring your circus to town because you want to? This is my fucking town. I give the herpes around here, I sell the call girls on the streets. You want to come into the bright lights and steal away my thunder? And my business? Fuck you, faggot. If your wizard sleeve of an arm comes and starts winning, people don’t feel down enough to cry me their income. For years they’ve been drowning their sorrow in muddy liquor, dingy bars, and crabby muffs. For years providing this has been my rise to fame. How dare you come in and steal that from me with your winning, and touchdowns, and general positive exposure on this decrepit city. I will fucking ruin you, old man, if you so much as step foot in this town. Yeah, take that as a warning, gash gnasher. It’s on now.

Oh dear god, they're losing ...
Oh dear god, they're losing ...

Linda in Apple Valley – Listen, I can’t really talk right now. My husband is on the phone in the other room yelling loudly about Puke Tards and pain pill poppin’ or something. But let me say this; Please Favre, please stay away. It’s already bad enough when the Vikings lose without you. My husband now will just throw things at me, like the remote control, empty beer cans, or broken glass. But I’m really afraid that if they lose while you’re on the team that things can only get worse. I remember when the Vikings would lose to the Packers when you played for them. I would just sit at the kitchen table for three hours listening to his screams of anger or illation. When things were silent after a while, I knew what was coming. He would quietly steam into the room and look at me with fury in his eyes, come near me with clenched fists, in a drunken haze … and then cry in my lap for hours, like a child. Honestly, it was fucking embarrassing. So please, I can only imagine how much more of a blubbering idiot he’ll become if the Vikings lose when you’re on the team, so please, just stay away. Oh … gotta go …

*click*

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