Hey! It’s the AA National holiday! Right? That’s how this works? Alcoholic Anonymous group attendees get their one free day pass for the year to relapse and drink themselves blind, or at least until they hate themselves again? Great holiday. At least in Minnesota it just means Vikings fans can re-live every Sunday afternoon loss like it happened all over again. Which is awesome, because we really MISS that feeling during the off-season, ya know? Drinking all of our sads of one football season in one national holiday helps get us through until the draft and training camp and whatever.
So, Happy Saint Patrick’s Day. If you’re drinking like a worthless human being today, you’re probably not clear headed enough to read this. If you’re stuck working like a productive member of society today, then we can at least try to have some laughs.
To do so, I’m asking this:
WHAT WOULD DIFFERENT VIKINGS ORGANIZATION MEMBERS ST. PATRICK’S DAY CARDS SAY?
Here’s some below to get you started, but let’s hear any you may have in the comments.
- Matt Asiata: Want a four-leaf clover? I’ll get you three.
- Teddy Bridgewater: You always find a pot of gold at the end of my deep balls.
- Captain Munnerlyn: Let me be your leprechaun.
- John Sullivan: Kiss me, I’m (probably) Irish!
- Anthony Barr: Worth my name in gold.
- Jeff Locke: Wishing you all the “locke” of the Irish!
- Xavier Rhodes: I’ll take you down a golden “rhodes” this holiday.
- Blair Walsh: It’s not the size that matters today, but how far you kick it.
- Chad Greenway: It ain’t easy being Green’.
- Brandon Bostick: I would never still a drop of beer on St. Patrick’s Day.
- Cordarrelle Patterson: When we’re all a little Irish, you can call me Patt McRotchson.
- Shamar Stephens: Will you by my Shamarock?
Did we miss any? Let us know in the comments. And please, try not to die from liver failure today. Fingers crossed!
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