Vikings vs. Packers: List of Favorite Vikings

We’re officially into October, and I don’t hate everyone on the team yet! I will consider that a moral victory.

Honestly, it’s hard to grade any of the Vikings after a debacle like we saw last Thursday night. Meaning, there really aren’t that many change ups in the rankings this week. However, it’s still important to do these rankings so we can be reassured on a consistent basis that not everyone who wears purple is a worthless hunk of man-meat.

With that in mind, let’s remember to frame what happened Thursday night:

• The offense was awful
• The running game was non-existant
• The offensive line laid down like a disenfranchised whore
• The defense had enough of the offensive’s crap and let the Packers score 42 points
• Most people stopped watching at half time
• This was preseason game #5

So, the entire night was garbage. Luckily, these players aren’t. Totally. Here’s your Vikings player rankings for week five:

1. Teddy Bridgewater (Previous Week: 1, +/-0 this week)

What am I going to do, drop the coolest Vikings player around during a short week because the Falcons are dirty bird cheaters who sprained his ankle? No. Let Ponder take the heat for a Green Bay loss, and let Bridgewater keep shining brightly in our wet dreams.

2. Harrison Smith (Previous Week: 2, +/-0 this week)

The only defender consistently worth his salt in a pot roast, Harrison Smith continues to make a case for being a Pro Bowler, and the only defensive player whose jersey you would maybe want. He’s also got 3 interceptions on the year, by the way, which is only two away from his career total. So, that’s cool.

3. Marcus Sherels (Previous Week: Unranked, N/A)

This is how bad this week got. Marcus Sherels? I dunno, he had a 46 yard punt return and 75 total yards. That’s got to be just as much – if not more – than all the offense Ponder was responsible for, right? Whatever. Sherels is fine in my book, which is a ringing endorsement this week.

4. Jeff Locke (Previous Week: Unranked, N/A)

Same deal here. The punter? I dunno, he punted one 56 yards. That’s far, right? Sure.

5. Cordarrelle Patterson (Previous Week: 3, -2 this week)

Starting to worry about Cordarrelle, though. He’s had two weeks in a row now where he’s been either used as a decoy, or has been largely ineffective. It was an odd scenario against the Falcons, and you can easily blame Christian Ponder if you want this week. Or do you blame Norv? But at some point, the most dynamic player on the team needs to say “Bruh, it doesn’t matter if I’m hurt or if our quarterback is a moron, you got to give me the ball.” That hasn’t happened, and it’s concerning. Needs to step the game up.

Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comments.