Watchabillty Walkthrough

Tanier regals us with his rapier wit again.

First Preseason Game: Minus-1

The first preseason game has the most guys named John Tereshinski running around, and it’s the most likely game to have a two-hour fourth quarter in which no one can line up properly or complete a pass. But it’s the first football in months, making it a little easier to stomach.

Established Veteran Starting Quarterback: Minus-2

Peyton Manning or Drew Brees plays two series, then sits down and lets a boring veteran backup play the next two quarters. No one cares if the starter looks good or bad, and the backup also has job security, so there’s not much to watch. Tom Brady is both an Established Starter and a Storyline Guy this year, but his starter-ness trumps his story-ness, leaving the Patriots at minus-1 this preseason. In the past, Matt Cassel’s Mad Scrambler point would have canceled that out, but no more.