Watching The Red Sox Lose

Ahh, baseball season. 7 months out of the year we get to watch the greatest game on earth and cheer on our favorite players and teams. There’s ups, there’s downs, there’s just a lot of fun to be had. Will we get to see our team in the playoffs again? Will any of our pitchers throw a no-hitter? Will a cosmetically-challenged Hispanic shortstop get hit in the balls? So many possibilities can arise during the long season, it’s no wonder so many of us are hooked until the last out.

As Angels fans we love our team, but we don’t always agree on everything. We argue over the lineup cards, we argue over the bullpen management, and sometimes we even argue over whether Mike Trout is fat or not.

We have certainly had our share of disputes over the years, and with the playoff drought in recent years, tensions are high. But In spite of all the bickering regarding the team and Trout’s girth, I think we can all agree that we love the Angels and will do so until the day we die, or at least until they miss the playoffs again. But there is another thing that holds us all together as fans, that keeps us sticking together through the hardest times and gives us something we can all stand united on, something that bonds us and makes us all the same, no matter what race, religion, or Costco we adhere to: Our hatred of the Boston Red Sox.

Why do we hate the Red Sox? Because **** them, that’s why. We hear about them every day. We see them in the papers, on the news, on every sports network. “How will the Red Sox do this year?”. It’s sickening. For years we have had to endure the endless babble about how the Red Sox are this great underdog trying to overthrow the evil empire (New York) and how we should root for them to overcome the odds and save the day. It’s like watching Star Wars every day for 7 months, except all of the rebels have been digitally replaced by Jar-Jar Binks and voiced by Ben Afleck.

They aren’t “underdogs”, nor are they a team we can relate or connect to in any way. They are irreparable douches who have committed all the same sins the “evil empire” has, and we are supposed to believe they are the good guys?

But seriously though, as Angels fans why do we hate a team we only see 9 times a year at most? A team that plays 3,000 miles away? I suppose a lot of it has to do with the 1986 LDS. Obviously the Dave Henderson homerun still has some shards left over in many an Angel fan’s heart. But there have been a lot of heartbreaking moments in this team’s history. Do we have the same hatred for Seattle after the 1995 season? Or Jeff Mathis for being Jeff Mathis? Why is it that no matter who wears that uniform, us Angels fans look at them in disgust?

It’s everything, really. The obnoxious fans who crowd Angels’ Stadium whenever they ooze into town, the overblown media coverage, 1986, and of course it hasn’t helped that the Angels have basically been Boston’s female dog for 20 years running. Just the sight of those uniforms gives me nightmares and intestinal bleeding. Most of my worst baseball memories involve the Red Sox. Be it from watching the Angels get brutally pounded in Fenway, or seeing Mo Vaughn walkoff on Troy Percival. I also have a running nightmare where I get turned into a piece of cheese and Dustin Pedroia slowly gnaws away at my coagulated body before dragging me under the oven……..But a funny thought occurred to me this evening when I saw Boston lose their 10th straight game: I really love when the Red Sox lose. I mean, nothing beats an Angels’ win don’t get me wrong, but if there is one thing that is right up there, it’s seeing the Red Sox play like absolute crap. It can always be a silver lining in an otherwise dreary day.

Now, you may think it to be a bit ridiculous to find so much pleasure in seeing another team’s misery, but you gotta understand where I come from: I live smack dab in the middle of Red Sox Nation. Hell I’m only a 2 hour drive from the capital. It’s like being an Atheist with an irrational fear of cardboard signs living next to the Westboro Baptist Church. During election season. It isn’t fun, and it’s especially not fun when the Red Sox do well. Their fans are annoying and obnoxious, and winning brings that out of them tenfold. Being an open fan of another team during those trying times is not the most enlightening experience. On the flipside, when the Red Sox are not doing well, I get to walk around with a shit-eating grin on my face. It literally makes my life better when Boston is losing. I’m certainly not the only one. 

As Angels fans, we love seeing our team win more than anything else. It makes us happy. It makes our day just a little bit better. You can’t honestly say the last couple weeks of success hasn’t put you in a better mood, if only slightly. For me, seeing the success of my favorite team and the deficiency of my least favorite team at the same time has been a euphoric experience. Will it last? Maybe, maybe not. But for now I’m going to enjoy it. Oh am I ever going to enjoy it.