We Are Loved

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When the San Francisco Giants postponed their press conference to introduce Carlos Correa as their newest player, the inevitable joke was that Steve Cohen was going to swoop in at the last minute to sign Correa for the Mets. I laughed because I thought that even Cohen had his limits. Besides, that storyline was lifted too much from an 80’s scriptwriter looking to capitalize on the Gordon Gekko infatuation. “Let’s invent someone who will further the ‘greed is good’ credo. moviegoers will eat it up.”

Steve Cohen seems straight out of the movies, but he’s very, very real. And the league woke up this morning realizing just how real and spectacular he is:

To say I’m thankful for this is an understatement. There’s so much to be thankful for, not the least of which being that Heyman’s phone didn’t autocorrect it to say that the Mets acquired Ecoli Diarrhea.

Don’t get me wrong, the fact that this may have all happened because of something in Correa’s medicals is a little concerning (it also all might have happened because the “medical issue” was code for “get me out of San Francisco and next to Francisco Lindor, Scott … what am I paying you for?”) Correa has had a noteable injury history. And of course there are the lingering questions of “what do you do with Brett Baty now” and “how do the Mets make room on the 40 man roster” and “do they make trash cans in blue and orange and when will Fanatics start selling them?” But, c’mon on. These are the right kind of questions to have when you put your heart and soul into a baseball team and all you ask is for the people who own it/run it to care about the fortunes of the team on the field about 10% as much as you do. How long have we longed for that when the Mets were owned by real estate moguls who couldn’t build so much as an outhouse among the chop shops?

Besides, it works out to be $26 million a year. That will be nothing in 12 years. As I like to remind people, Cohen once bought a frozen shark. And if there’a a frozen shark that will produce at a higher level than Darin Ruf, he’ll do it again.

The one thing I will say is that the Mets just put a huge target on their backs. The entire league will be gunning for the team with the $495 million payroll. The muscles that Buster Olney will pull trying to contort himself into a reason why the Braves are still the N.L. East favorites will be muscles that you never knew a human being had.  The boos we’ll get in San Francisco alone will be enough to ring in your ears the rest of the season. Hell, executives with other teams will bemoan the fact that Cohen is spending so much money, and they’d probably do it publicly if they weren’t collecting a portion of that sweet, sweet $111 million that Cohen is paying extra so that the other owners can not spend it on anyone. If we weren’t the bad guys before, we sure as hell our now. And anything short of the ultimate prize will be seen by many, maybe including us, as a massive disappointment now that the Mets have gone to excess with Carlos “Anacott Steel” Correa.

You can safely embrace being the bad guy. It’s okay. It may only seem that nobody in the baseball community loves you. But all you need to do is turn inward to find love. The owner of your favorite baseball team loves you. He’s one of you. He’s doing this for you. Whatever happens from this point forward is up to the randomness of baseball, and the Gods of baseball. But Steve Cohen is doing his very best to eradicate whatever randomness exists.

Good morning to you all. Know that you are loved … loved by someone who is very, very rich.

Also, a reminder:

Who’s going to be the one wondering why Steve didn’t get all four?

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