Since Ryan went to the Vikes-Cards game this weekend (see below), he asked me to fill in for him on his weekly NFL post. I didn’t see all of the games, but I happen to be a proud owner of NFL Sunday Ticket, so I did get to catch bits and pieces of every single Sunday game. Since I’m writing on VT for the first time, I’ll take this moment to shamelessly promote my site here…Is It Sports?
Thanksgiving Games
Dolphins vs. Lions – The Lions season closely resembles their owners’ profit margins…completely tanking, on the verge of collapse. I thought if anything, just this one time, they could get their act together and show the world they are at least better off without Joey Harrington. But once again the Lions showed the world in the Thanksgiving spotlight they are the 2nd most poorly run franchise in the NFL. Right now I’m just waiting for Toyota to buy them, convert them to a soccer team, and move them to Japan.
Cowboys vs. Buccaneers – Didn’t see any of it, but America apparently has Tony Romo fever now. I’d write him off, but from looking at this year’s NFC with heavily flawed teams and remembering Kurt Warner’s contract with Satan in 1999, anything is possible.
Chiefs vs. Broncos – The Broncos are abandoning Jake Plummer in favor of Jay Cutler, and I say, why not? Just close your eyes and try to imagine Jake Plummer holding a Super Bowl trophy. You can’t right? Well, I think that’s a great reason to bench him. Great QB’s win Super Bowls (except Jim McMahon, Brad Johnson, Trent Dilfer, and Mark Rypien) and Plummer is far from great. It’s like he’s gotten a free pass and contract renewals just because he played for the Cardinals, so people think the team was holding him back. His career has been filled with dumb decisions and tons of interceptions, but that won’t stop someone else from having him on their team next year. At least those 4 guys I mentioned above were smart enough to stay out of their defense and running games’ way.
Sunday Pregame Shows – I was watching ESPN, hoping to see their story about Fantasy Football, and the touchy-feely-ESPN-trying-to-win-an-emmy music comes on, and they start talking about Nick Mangold’s sister. Following my Sportscenter Procedure, I immediately switch to CBS, only to see someone shopping with a small boy with soft music in the background. So I eventually settle on a 7-minute long chuckle involving everyone on Fox. But you know what? I’d take the chuckle any day. Call me crazy, but I think people watch pregame shows to get pumped up for the games, check injuries, see interviews with players and coaches, and get expert picks. Why do all the networks insist on sucking away 10 minutes of our lives on a somber story that is usually on the far, far fringes of anything resembling football? Isn’t this why ESPN has a show called “Outside the Lines”?
Saints vs. Falcons – We learned 2 things from this game. The Saints are pretty much a lock for the playoffs in the dismal NFC, and the Falcons are just hopelessly lost. On the plus side, maybe if Michael Vick flips off enough people, even more people in Atlanta outside the 33 sports fans will take notice.
Bills vs. Jaguars – The Bills and 49ers are similar in the sense that both of their 5-6 records are the product of them being at the bottom of the middle of the pack teams that can beat the really bad teams but then get crushed by the really good ones. For the Jaguars, there should be a rule that losing to Houston twice and Buffalo automatically eliminates you from the playoffs
Bengals vs. Browns – The Browns celebrate 50 years of horrible uniforms by getting shut out. If we’ve learned anyting is that Throwbacks = Losses and Coaches in Suits = Wins. The Solution? Romeo Crennel in a suit…..uh…nevermind.
Rams vs. 49ers – The Niners are actually fun to watch again, but they are still a year or 2 away. especially on defense. Both of these teams are showing signs of life, but neither has much of a chance to make a run at the wild card or catch Seattle for the West title.
Vikings vs. Cardinals – Ryan already explained this one in detail…Note to the Cardinals: When you give up 3 passing TD’s to a 38 year-old Brad Johnson, things may not be going well for you.
Jets vs. Texans – All I remember about this one was watching Samkon Gado getting a one yard gain, enjoying a nice laugh, and changing the channel
Redskins vs. Panthers – Apparenly, no one wants the last wild card spot in the NFC. It’s basically Carolina’s for the taking, but they’re too pathetic to scoop it up. Jake Delhomme makes a lot of bad decisions, and watching him play while starting him in fantasy football could be bad for your health. I know he went to a Super Bowl with them, but he’s really only mediocre. Imagine Drew Brees with the recievers Delhomme has. Scary, huh?
Ravens vs. Steelers – I guess the Super Bowl loser curse effects the team that should have lost… Meanwhile, the Ravens and Chargers are getting me very excited for the AFC Playoffs.
Chargers vs. Raiders – What more is there to say about LT at this point? As I mentioned above, the Ravens and Chargers are looking tough to beat and they’ll be in the playoffs with the Colts and Pats…should be interesting. Also, we might get a Denver team with a rookie QB and the crazy Jaguars to compliment those 4 big boys. Also, don’t look now, but the Raiders are fiesty. I know people have knocked them a lot this year, and they deserve it, but their defense is solid. The way the NFL is today, with some major offensive changes and a good draft, they could be back in the playoffs next year.
Titans vs. Giants – What an amazing finish…but I was busy driving through Indiana. What more is there to say, really? The Titans are starting to rally behind Vince Young and they could be a strong team next season. You could say this game pretty much sticks a fork in the Giants’ season, but in reality, if they don’t make the playoffs, who will?
Patriots vs. Bears – A sloppy game, and the Patriots, who are probably the 4th or 5th best team in the AFC, take down the best team in the NFC. The Bears are really not as good as everyone thinks they are. Their offense is falling apart, and Grossman’s bad decisions are not making a turnaround any easier.
Colts vs. Eagles – I’m sure NBC execs were just beyond pleased when they picked this game for prime time, after McNabb went down. I mean, America loves Jeff Garcia, but the Colts? come on.
Seahawks vs. Packers – Thank You, Shaun Alexander, for getting my fantasy team a win this week, and thanks to your entire season of work, I’m now 3-9. But seriously, isn’t Brett Favre losing in the snow enough to convince everyone, including himself, that he is beyond washed up? You know what, screw it, I’m not getting into that debate. I hope he plays forever and changes his mind about retirement over and over again each year, becuase it makes for such intriguing television. And if him never retiring will prevent ESPN from making a touchy-feely story about him in retirement one day, then I’m all for it.
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