I have been raised to love and support the Buffalo Bills and football in general. It wasn’t until about five years ago that I really became passionate about both, and there are some aspects of the game I just can’t quite get into. Fantasy football is number one, and the draft is a close second. Both involve a lot of speculation and predictions, all of which are dependent on way too many variables.
The highlight of the draft for me is the fact that it contains one of my favorite things of all time: men crying over sports. A bunch of young men get dressed up to sit in a room and wait for a phone call that may lead to everything they have ever wanted in life. (It also may lead to mental injuries that will last them a lifetime, but I digress.) Let me be clear, I don’t follow college football and I don’t really pay attention to the draft until it’s actually happening. I believe sports are a crapshoot, and the draft is the first roll of the dice. The success or failure of each player, sadly, is not solely determined by their skill.
What happens if you get drafted first overall and have to sit the year out as a result of injuries suffered in the first game of the season? See: Jadeveon Clowney, Houston Texans, 2014 season. What happens if you come from a famous football family and then get drafted by a team you don’t want to go to? You nearly throw a temper tantrum on a stage (I will never forget that he refused to put on the hat!) and then get swapped to go to a team you actually want to be on; subsequently lead them to two of the best Super Bowl wins in history. See: Eli Manning, San Diego Chargers, 2004. One of my favorite draft crapshoots involves our favorite former Buffalo Bills quarterback and no, I’m not talking about J.P. Losman. Of course I am referring to Jim Kelly who admitted to wanting to get drafted to basically any team but Buffalo in 1983.
If you watched the “30 for 30” about the 1983 draft (I highly suggest it,) you will hear him talk about his intense resistance to going to the Bills. Most players cry tears of joy when they answer that call, Kelly was nothing short of pissed off. But again the NFL, like life, is unpredictable. Kelly remains one of Buffalo’s most loved icons, and his feelings are mutual for the city. And speaking of unpredictable draft success stories, it would be absurd to not include everyone’s favorite 199th overall pick. Jim Kelly falling in love with Buffalo is great, but Tom Brady’s transition from scrawny sixth round pick to husband of a supermodel with four Super Bowl rings is nothing short of a fairytale. My hate for Tom Brady starts here, and I will leave all of the other reasons for another day. My bottom line here is that it’s great for every expert to have their take on each player in the draft, but ultimately the best draft equations are often the ones nobody saw coming.
This year’s draft was filled with a solid amount of speculation, controversy (right, Tunsil?), and best of all continuous boos for Rodger Goodell. It was just what the NFL wanted except the red carpet which just felt awkward. It appears to me that people with reasonable football opinions are happy with who the Bills have drafted, so I guess the season is off to a good start. I am personally thankful that the man whose penis popped out at the combine was still drafted. That incident seemed like something that one might not be able to recover from.
Finally, the endless off season appears to be coming to an end. I must say that this season is a little bittersweet for me considering all the players that will be missing from the Bills. I know Mario Williams pissed everyone off last season, but he was my favorite player up until this point. Yes, talented of course but LOOK AT THE GUY. He has won my personal award of “Best Ass on the Bills” every year since signing with the team. Mario, those are some tight pants to fill. You will be missed and, hopefully, replaced. Next we cut the cord with everyone’s favorite social media superstar Boobie Dixon. Someone on twitter suggested that the team get rid of Billy Buffalo and replace him with Boobie as the team mascot. I fully support this motion. I want to take a second and note here that last season I can honestly say I followed a player’s entire NFL career. My friend and I developed a crush on AJ Tarpley at training camp, supported him all season, and now sadly but respectfully watch him retire. The Bills lost a lot of familiar names in the offseason, but business is business.
Like every other season, I am hopeful for this year. I try to remain somewhere between realistic (I can’t imagine the Bills ever winning in Seattle on a Monday night) and optimistic (it would be AMAZING if they ever pulled that off.) I never try to place too much emphasis on guessing season outcomes because as my idol Rich Eisen always says, it’s a week to week league. My wish is always that the Bills can just garner a little respect and positive attention from the press, and of course, make the playoffs sometime this millennium. I don’t hate Rex but his natural inclination to talk a lot of shit without backing it up is not my favorite quality in any person.
I’m all for having confidence in your ability to coach and your players’ abilities to do their jobs, but there is also something to be said for learning from your big mouthed missteps. I get that Rex is Rex, and that’s his personality. I just wish that sometimes he learned the all too important lesson to think before you speak. Build a solid team, don’t try to reinvent the wheel when it comes to coaching, and for the love of all that is good, just get the win. Don’t talk about being “all in” and then make the same stupid run play that gains 3 yards on third down when we need 12. It seems like a simple concept, but I’m also not a player or a coach so maybe it’s not. I’m going to support the team no matter what, but life is always sunnier when Western New York is not a colossal joke in the national sports media. Buffalo has all but mastered the art of getting negative attention, so there’s no better time to change that narrative. It’s time to win some games, boys.
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